I was really dreading this and this is why i almost didnt allow a page to be made for my daughter. I recieved my first hateful message tonight and i am really baffled. This page is a prayer and SUPPORT page for my daughter. Simply put, not everyone is going to like what i have to say or what i post. I am 24 friggin years old as of today. I have NEVER had a preemi esp a micropreemi, I have never had to run a page with so many followers, i am new to this! I am NOT here to be crucified if you dont like a picture that i post or an update that i write either 1. Keep scrolling 2. Ignore it 3. UNLIKE MY PAGE. I appreciate all of the support! I appreciate all of the prayers, the comments, the donations, the well wishes & I feel like I have said that multiple times! Put yourselves in my shoes just for one minute! Imagine having your baby who wasnt ready to come into this world being cut out of you and youre all alone without your spouse after hearing your dr tell you we have to move fast or your baby will drown in blood, suffocate with the oxygen supply from her cord being cut off, or you yourself bleeding so much you and your baby could die from bleeding out, imagine glimpsing at your 1 pound baby while she is swarmed by neonatologists and hearing them yell were taking her to NICU to try to save her now imagine seeing her for the first time for under 2 minutes with life sustaining machines in and out of her knowing that if she didnt have those machines breathing for her she would die, so as you see her being wheeled out of the hospital in a tightly enclosed bubble being taken to a helicopter to fly to a hospital that is 200 miles away from you. Now think of how it feels to wonder if youre child is going to live, if you will get to hold her while shes alive or after she is gone, with her never feeling your lips on her forhead as you whisper how much you love her and how much you need her to fight but not suffer. Imagine having to have a conversation with your spouse that you NEVER thought you would have to have about what our limits are, do we pull the plug? Do we believe that drs could be wrong and we would be the few who witness a miracle of their child not only living but thriving! And then my husband and I came to the agreement, if Jensyn is still breathing God still has a plan for her! Now pause.. start thinking what in the heck are we going to do?? HOW are we going to do this for 3 months with being with Jen as much as possible bc no matter how good she is doing one day, ask any preemi or micropreemi mom, things could take a turn for the worst in an instant! Who will watch our kids when we are gone? How will my son get to kindergarten? What if maddie goes into anaphlactic shock when we are with Jensyn? How are we going to pay our normal bills let alone gas, hotels (when necessary if its too cold to sleep in the car & when the hospital is full) what in the hell are we going to do?? Weve never asked for help, the first time we were away from our kids was when Jensyn was born and they are 5, 3 & 18 months. Mark and i NEVER had alone time, we got pregnant 2 weeks after we met, which was fine we love our kids and maybe an hour break is nice but we dont want to leave them. Ask anyone who knows us what type of parents we are and they will tell you. Then on top of worrying about if were with jen were away from our other 3 if were with our other 3 were away from jen who needs us the most right now. Then it dawns on you, Jens first christmas she will be at ACH, how will you figure out a way to be with all of them when they arent allowed in the hospital? And then the panic of realising theres NO way you can afford Christmas presents! No christmas is not about presents but you know your kids will be so disappointed, they have been talking about christmas and unwrapping presents for months! Then the hospital bills start coming in and they want 3 grand by 12/23.. and were like merry christmas heres 3 cents for that bill, when you know every penny you have right now needs to be saved for gas oil changes and januarys bills to have a roof over my kids heads. My husband and i have ALWAYS worked 2 jobs and 90-100 hours a week each! And in between youre working complete opposite shifts bc daycare is literally over a grand a month! We dont have government support, literally we have never asked for help not with money, with daycare, food, nothing. But this is out of our hands we CANT do this on our own. But having someone call me tacky.. im about to take down our gofundme which has literally been a life saver and we have used it for NOTHING other then jen and we are holding onto EVERY penny that we can. I posted the pic of our 3000 grand bill for one day of her care to get help on programs and suggestions bc she doesnt have insurance, so if thats tacky, again refer to my 1, 2, 3 statements from above. I have more then enough stress in my life and yes im WELL AWARE that everyone has their struggles, believe me when i say my family has had our fair share!! Im all for constructive criticism if your closet is clean and you know me. If not, keep that negative, hateful, mean crap to yourself. I wil try my damndest to keep her page strictly about how she is doing, if these messages continue i will just take it down I physically and mentally can not handle extra unnecessary stress, we are not a charity case, we are simply asking for prayers and help if anyone is able to help us. We just want our kids to be with us and maybe have a couple of presents under our tree. Happy friggin birthday to me.. :/
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 09:31:52 +0000
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