I was sent on an errand to retrieve lunch for my colleagues at the main office. Easy enough; order had been called in by one of them. When I arrived at the restaurant, I was given my order and cups for drinks. Diligently, I focused upon the task at hand, only slightly aware that others were standing behind me. “There’s another soda fountain and surely someone behind me could fill drinks as I am doing; no need for everyone to wait,” I thought to myself. Then I looked down and noticed that all of my things were spread out across the counter—food bag, filled drink cups, napkins and condiments, and my car keys. Impossible for anyone else to approach the counter. I was taking up more real estate than should be needed for the task that I was about. I quickly remedied the situation, making room for at least one other soul sent to retrieve lunch for her colleagues. How kind they all were to wait on this “boy” who needed all that space to accomplish his task. Age seems to be irrelevant to the point that males need more space to work productively than perhaps their female counterparts do. I have observed this phenomenon over the years in classrooms in which I teach, in which I observe, and even on airplanes. That’s right. Men frequently engage in elbow-shoving matching on a plane as they vie for an arm rest common to two seats. Guys sprawl out, encroaching upon someone else’s rather expensive airplane seat. Women, whom I sit next to infrequently, are more precise in movement, keeping their elbows to themselves. Why is it that men are challenged relative to understanding recognizing spatial boundaries? Why must they take up so much room? Part of the answer to this conundrum resides in our inability to multi-task. Go back with me to the restaurant for a moment. I had a lot of “stuff” to juggle; yet, I was focused upon one factor: drawing drinks for my colleagues from the soda fountain. The multi-tasker is able to juggle all of that and, oh yes, be sensitive to the social/emotional needs of others who are waiting for their respective turns. Another piece of the puzzle that is often missing in the male repertoire is the ability to organize. Generally, boys—more so than girls—struggle with organization skills. When I was going to school, I was fortunate to have a number of strong female teachers and role models who not only insisted that I be organized, but facilitated my development in that crucial area—a mom who helped me organize my room, a biology teacher who taught us how to outline information when it is presented in class (a skill I continue to use to this very day, coaches who insisted that lockers were to be maintained, and camp counselors who rewarded those whose bunk house areas were the cleanest and best organized. I became a teacher of sixth-grade students who knew how to police and care for the classroom environment. I rarely had to do anything to my classroom; the kids took care of things. I insisted that they know where their materials were located and could produce them in a timely fashion. I facilitated their ability to meet deadlines and schedules. You see, I knew what challenges awaited them after they left me and I wanted them to be prepared. I did not want them to struggle with something as manageable as organizational skills. One of the most rewarding compliments paid to me by Junior-High/Middle School staff was that they could identify which students had been in Mr. Griffin’s classes; they knew how to get to the next assigned class within the allotted time-frame, with both books and homework in tow. Whatever the reasons, boys tend to require more space in which to work. Teachers, when setting up activities--particularly those done at tables in the company of others--allow for more “elbow room” for all. Territorial and materials disputes can be avoided by simply making additional space available and by defining how much space each participant has. Instead of placing five children at a table to perform a task, consider placing four there instead. And while you are at it, why not use placemats to serve as visual cues for understanding space limitations? Locate each student’s materials on that placemat. He will know how much space and what materials are available for his use without your having to tell him. Parents, observe the work habits of your son; determine how much space he requires and accommodate that preference as much as possible. Even at the dinner table where kids tend to stake out territory anyway, ensure that each has ample space. Succinctly stated, a little advanced space-planning forestalls unnecessary conflict amongst siblings who are already predisposed to squabble. Above all else, if you want to transform a boy’s life, help him get organized and stay that way. He is likely to need practice and patience; guidelines and guidance for a long time. Articulate your expectations and help him achieve them. Don’t excuse a messy room with statements like, “Boys will be boys,” or “teenagers are messy by nature.” Everyone—at whatever age—can learn how to effectively organize his part of the world. Your son may complain now about your rigor; later, he will compliment you for foresight. Think about it the next time you are waiting in line to fill your water cup because someone left his organizational skills back at the office. What other environmental elements should boys have access to? In the next strategy, we will look at playing to a boy’s strength in order to address a need. Join us….
Posted on: Thu, 29 Aug 2013 21:58:12 +0000