I went to Shogun the other night with my wife. Its one of those places like Benihana where they cook the good right in front of you and the chef entertains you by flipping knives and making a volcano out of onions and soy sauce. The worst part about it is if you dont come with a bunch of friends, they stick you at the loser table with the other strangers who dont have any friends. I dont even like watching my wife eat, let alone watching a bunch of losers gorge themselves on beef and rice all while trying to look cool by using their chopsticks the correct way. And you know when youre not looking, they all try to do that Karate Kid move and catch a fly with their chopsticks. Ill crane kick every single one of you if I see you doing that. Seriously, nothing is grosser than watching strangers eat food. But then I realize that theyre all watching me feed my chubby little face with meat after meat until my plate has nothing left, but the vegetables that I didnt eat. Oh, I tried rearranging them to make it look like I did, but everyone can see you and they know you just tried one piece of zucchini and spit it out onto your plate. I guess the point of this rant is that I hate Matthew McConaughey. Its like no matter what you say to the guy, hes just like, Alright, alright, alright.
Posted on: Sun, 23 Mar 2014 07:55:16 +0000
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