I went to the bank on friday to help momsi pay some cash into her account. I wont tell you the amount. Richie decided to tag along. Men! the experience was hectic. The bank was crowded and so I had to join a queue while Richie waited out of the line. A man was directly at my back while at my front was this chick in a tight ass jean, that I was almost tempted to take a peek. Men! The line was snail-ish. You know how all these cashiers take time to attend to just one customer. This made one elderly man, a few persons ahead, begin to rant about their sluggishness. Elderly Man: This people. Very useless. They just relax attending to one person and be wasting other people time in queue. Later, they go collect their fat salary. If not for my daughter that said... blah blah blah... I wont come to this useless bank again. Over my dead body. Someone is waiting for me since and Im still here. Next time Ill go UBA or Access bank. Not this yeye bank. Ps: I didnt say First Bank is bad. I am only quoting the man. The bank is currently the only bank I bank with o. Dont want them to freeze my account ooo. My billions! When it was finally the mans turn, he was attended to by cashier 2 and he scurried away. Cashier 2: (to cashier 1 and 3). See! Its common 2k light bill thats making this man to shout and disturb the peace of this bank. Empty vessel. Its their type that rant much. Haba! She know if the man na Dangote partner. I looked at Richie and the guy was already talking to a girl. See the way she was blushing. Is this why the guy wanted to tag along? Cashier 2: Whats this? Man: Ehn, the money tear. Cashier 2: So you tear three 1k naira notes and count them separately and then wrote 6k on the deposit slip. Man: No oooh! The money are different oo. Cashier 2: Oh really? Frank come check this money. The security guy came and within few minutes matched the torn outline of the money together perfectly making it 3k. The guy must be a puzzle expert. Cashier 2: See? Man: Er, I didnt know. Cashier 2: You didnt know. Common, take your rubbish and get outta here! She just flung the money at him. As if that was necessary. The guy wanna play a sharp one on the cashier. Some people mentality sef. While my feet were getting heavy from the standing, I peered around for Richie but couldnt find him. The lady in my front just blew her exhaust. Chai! The fart was loud and clear. She must have thought the thing will be silent and harmless. But the thing was the direct opposite. I couldnt breathe. I nearly fainted. The lady no even send the mess. She just pretended as she didnt do anything. Fear no let her look back to see the damage her bomb had made. The aroma was not welcoming to the people in the line. They just shifted uncomfortably turning their heads as if trying to find the culprit but couldnt let the forces drive them away from the line. I couldnt help but wander What if someone received a call with loudspeaker on and his doctor tells him he has ebola. Will that be able to do what the fart couldnt? In Benin? Definitely. But what if as they rushed to the door, they discover the thing is jammed? Well question for the gods. Me just stood still so they will not start suspecting me since it originated from my region. And this one go comot here go dey form babe for guys. You guys that check out ladies butt, dont you ever imagine them farting as you size them? Later on, a fat woman approached Cashier 2 to be attended to. She was just blowing and popping gum. Next thing, she picked her noise with her finger and rubbed off the collected deposit on the Cashiers table. Cashier 2: Madam! Whats the meaning of this nonsense na? You can mess up your house with your catarrh but not this place.! She quickly signaled one of the cleaners to come and clean up the mess. See as the cleaner frown face. She must have been belly cursing both the fat woman and cashier 2. No be you say you wan do cleaner work? Old Woman: (far behind in the line) Make this people fast na. Shit dey catch me here o. Someone could suspect her to be the one who had farted earlier but only the wise will know that one doesnt attempt to fart when pressed. There is the fear that one may release a piece instead of something breezy. And you wouldnt want to be in such an awkward position. But why is she annoucing it sef? Man Behind her: Theres toilet in the bank. See good samaritan. Old Woman: Eeeehen, toilet dey? Ok, we dont want to picture her in the toilet now, do we? As the queue moved ahead, a teenager who was next walked up to cashier 2. Teen: I want to buy recharge card. Mtn N200. Cashier 2: What? Which kind mumu be this? Who told you they sell recharge card in bank? Teen: My friends in school say they normally buy from bank. Cashier 2: You even dey go school and you dumb like this? Go ask your friends how they take dey buy card. Get lost! A woman started protesting. Woman: If you no dey sell, make him meet the other cashier na. Make she sell for am. See as you just dey curse the small boy. Cashier 3: They use ATM to buy, ok? Teen: What is ATM? Cashier 3: Never mind. Just go buy from store. Its a good thing she didnt tell him. Who knows what abuse he could do to the ATMs? Who dey handle the guy case for coven strong o. Funny enough the protesting woman was next and handed her deposit slip to cashier 2 who requested for the deposit. The woman quickly dipped into her big bag. Cashier 2 was still trying to figure out what shed written when the woman started dropping them. I want to deposit these (clothing) materials so that they wont catch fire. Each material is 10 yards and everything cost about 30k. Did this woman stumble into a time machine that sent her to this century or does she think this is Harry Potter? So she will now go to ATM to withdraw the materials later or withdraw the 30k in cash? But imagine she could withdraw it as cash, men! people business go sell oo! Traders will start depositing TV, clothes, radios, even tomatoes, pepper and crayfish when they dont have buyers and withdraw them as cash. Cashier 2: Next! Another teenage guy went to meet her and handed over N200 note and a deposit slip. She was still looking at the N200 puzzled when the guy spoke. Teen 2: Dont forget my change. Change still dey? She quickly looked at the slip. Cashier 2: You want to deposit N150 and collect N50 change? Teen 2: Yes. I dont want to use the money. Cashier 2: See en, take the money and go and burry it deeply in your backyard. Then when you want to use it, go and dig it out. Ok? Next! That Cashier 2 deserved to be sacked, dont you agree? She is too rude to customers! Anyway, I managed to make the deposit and since I didnt see Richie, I transported home. Later Richie came home. Richie: Wow! Those girls were fantastic! Girls? I thought I saw him with only one. So she decided to invite her friends as well to catch fun.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 21:30:14 +0000
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