I will open up here and reveal how Aspergers affects me. Firstly, when I was much younger, we didnt know about Aspergers as the paper had not yet been translated into English ,however , much research was taking place at that time. My Father indentified me as , what he referred to , Subject Specific. In short , my mind was focused on one subject at the expense of all else. He did his best, and how he tried , to curb my obsessive fascination with for example - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, ELP, Hansel und Gretel, - topics that would dominate my life. The problem then became , due his unbridled enthusiasm, when he introduced me to RVW , or Sibelius, or Khatchaturyan, and they too would become almost feverish obsessions. I would explain to my very accomadating few friends how life would be torture for them if they didnt get to know this Music. The few friends- and yes I was bullied mercilessly until I sorted them out - I had took me under their guidance and became role modals whom I studied intensely to figure out the mystery of social interaction. As far as being tied to routine, it was again my Fathers tremendous sense of Adventure that somehow arrested my anxiety here but I quietly cryed a lot as a kid when my equilibrium was upset. I learned how to socialize by being those whom I admired. To this day, it is still an act , but less so as Im now 50 and have studied first hand how Autism works both the good and bad. My Wonderful Sons have taught me a great deal here, as well as my former Wife. I have been truly blessed throughout my life to have made friends with people who have helped me so much. The anxiety, depression, obsessive, confusion, and daily battle with fears far too deep and profound to express here are all there and shall ever remain. But! it is all these elements that are part and parcel, and if one is going spend ones life creating and making and playing Music with the kind of originality at once absorbed in the spirit of really Great Music that I seek , then surely these elements are essential at least for me. At 50, I now understand my nature and as a big breakthrough, this is all that matters for now. Thank you for reading this. RMJ Herriott.
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 04:30:56 +0000
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