I witnessed one of the most nauseating things this afternoon. I have this one regular weekend customer, a guy for whom Ive been making a special coffee for around fifteen years. To put it mildly, hes been through a lot. Hes a few years younger than me, hes in a wheelchair and has had lots of medical problems. But he continues to live as normal and independent a life as the rest of us. Every Saturday, he catches the bus to come down to the farmers market, and I always try to squeeze in a few minutes to visit with him. His speech is slightly impaired, but not badly. Hes told me some of what hes been through, but not all, and Ive never asked. I figure if he wants people to know, thats up to him. So he and I are chatting away, and another customer walks up; a middle-aged woman. I took her order, she looked over at my friend and said; What happened to you? I held my breath. He responded; What do you mean? She said Oh, I was in a wheelchair just recently myself. I had a skiing accident up on Mount Hood and I was in it for a month. He looked up at me, we made eye contact back -- we were both thinking the same thing, but he handled it better than I would have. He told her; Oh, what happened to me is a long story. You dont want to hear it. (again, his speech is very slow, and by now she was beginning to figure out that his situation wasnt due to being a bad skier. She bent over so that they were at eye level, put her hand on his shoulder and talked to him as if he was a five year old. She told him to keep his chin up, and asked him his name, which he told her. She said; Well, I want you to know, Im going to pray for you tonight. And remember, I was in a wheelchair myself, just a few months ago, and now Im back to normal. Theres always hope. It was the most awkward, condescending thing Ive ever seen. My friend just smiled back at her and said nothing, she grabbed her latte and off she went. I watched him watch her as she walked away, then he turned to me and half-smiling said; You know Bruce, I almost told her to shove her prayers up her ass, but I didnt want to create a scene. I laughed and told him that if Id known thats what he was feeling, Id have done it for him. We talked about it a bit, and he said things like that happen sometimes, but what really offends him is after theyve heard him speak, some talk back to him as if HES the idiot, rather than them. What goes through the head of a human being whod approach a total stranger and ask What happened to you? God, the nerve of that woman! I feel like crap now for my friend.
Posted on: Sat, 05 Apr 2014 22:44:42 +0000
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