I would like to share these photos with all the amazing people who are part of BfaA . I have lost three angels my first 16 years ago this may and I had so much love and support from my family and many friends. Two days prior to my daughter micas 16th birthday my closest friend over the past few years who is also like a big brother had his whole life turned upside down when he received the news that all parents to be fear their baby had no beating heart. Joshua William David was born asleep on Sunday the 11th of May 2014. I was involved in every part of Joshuas short stay with us and even though it was a very tough time for me emotionally with it being the anniversary of micas birth then death could not turn my back and leave him to cope alone. The relationship with Joshuas mum has broken down and he has been doing everything possible to get just a few pictures and other things for him to keep for memories, however she has refused and he has been in such a bad place emotionally just wanting something that he can keep of his son. I had taken so many photos of Joshua as I didnt want my friend to be thinking a few years down the line that he wished he had more and having been there I knew how important the pictures were to myself sadly I thought I had lost them off my iPad due to a fault but two weeks ago I managed to retrieve them with the assistance of apple. So my plan began I had all photos developed and brought a photo album which I have put the majority of them apart from three that I have had framed and Joshua looks beautiful in all if them! The bear you can see is called Samuel which was what they were originally going to call Joshua he is a jofli bear and very special, he comes with an I.d code to register him, a backpack which has in it a book adventures which has diary pages photo pages which in the back tells you what the photo is of ect and blank pages for you to fill in whenever he also comes with a special pen and a story book, I got this for my friend and wrote in the book as if from Joshua telling him that Samuel was sent to him to keep memories and to write to Joshua whenever he feels the need to tell him something just Like I love and miss you son or to have a long talk it is there for whatever he wants to write in it and was special to him and Joshua which he could either one day share or it would always remain between just those two. My friend had no idea I did all this and I just suprised him exactly 5 months after Joshua was born asleep and five months of hell hes been going through with nothing of his sons memory. Since Friday when I gave him all of these he has been in such a brighter place and was showing a few close friends his son and he was bursting with pride it made me cry I have also ordered him a canvas which is due to be delivered today in black and white and I cant wait to see his face when its does arrive because the photo chosen for the canvas Joshua just looks fast asleep after a hard day. To some it may seem silly what I have done especially with Samuel but I have a memory box for all my three angels that I fill with cards letters and just silly things I want them to know and Samuel seems so much more fun and my friend takes him all over! My friend cant thank me enough but to me I did what any true friend would do when he has no family and only a select few friends who at times have made him feel like he should stop talking about Joshua. Well I feel very privileged to have been part of Joshuas brief stay but it brought back many memories and has also been a bit if a learning curve and I wish nobody had to experience such a loss I have found someone who also knows of the pain I felt 16,15 and 13 years ago but I feel I can help him to realise that all these feelings and emotions he feels are normal and that he does things his way in his own time as there is no right or wrong way and I have promised him I will be by his side always and I shall never forget Joshua or stop talking about him because I was to be Joshuas god mother so I now have a adopted angel that is safe with my three I just hope I have been there enough and am just so pleased I got the pictures for him and put a smile thats been missing ever since Joshua went to heaven, he takes Samuel everywhere and is always filling in his adventure book or doing online journal of their adventures to take to Joshua when its his time. I just hope that my friend will believe me when I say his pain will get a little easier to bear but there is no time scale on Greif And no matter what I am with him all the way Fiona xx
Posted on: Mon, 13 Oct 2014 05:56:47 +0000
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