I wrote this for my breeding friends but it is so funny I thought I would share it with everyone although I dont think everyone will find it as funny as we did LOL........................ok this story is not for the weak stomach LOL Ok so I am sitting on the couch last evening and all of a sudden I smelled and excuse my language but dirty rotten butthole LMFAO at about the same time my husbands gasps coughs gags what the hell is that smell. With 4 boys in the house who have all kinds of smells coming from them at any point in time. I first check them. I walk by smell ask the appropriate questions ie.. did someone fart poop their pants ect, It is not the boys . so then I turn my attention to the dogs. Since ollie and Gurgi are on my lap I smell Gurgi first nope not her although she is now looking at me like excuse you !! Then I check Ollie and thank God it was not him since he moved at the same time I moved and I face planted into the accused area but thank God not him. So i think at this point it is Maggie since Bella has never had an anal gland issue but since Maggie is huge and not my dog there is no way I am butt smelling her LOL So bella who is sleeping peacefully across on the other side of the couch lifts her head and looks at me . So i stretch over and take a big whiff OMG I am now teary eyed and gagging Ollie who is staring at me from my lap is looking at me like I know right and you dont have to sleep with her So I pick her up and carry her into the bathroom as everyone else is stepping out the way like I am carrying some kind of nuclear bomb. I put her in the bathtub and express her anal glands which look like some sort of toxic sludge and smells like something the swamp thing pooped out. I wash her booty and it still stinks I look around trying to find something to take this God awful smell away and spy the bottle Poise female wash from my uterine surgery when I had to use special soap. I think it cant hurt at this point and I use it. Walla smell gone she smells like heaven and thank God cause she was looking at me like MOm touch my butthole again and I turn your hand into hamburger. I call the vet and we both decide since she is raw and leaking toxic sludge she should probably start a round of antibiotics. So I know sit down on the couch exhausted my youngest who is 4 years old looks at me and says I never want to have doggies at my house when I am big. I said oh baby why you love the doggies and he says ya but no that much cause I dont want to ever stick my nose in their butts all serious LOL I just said oh baby normal people dont probably dont do that LOL I guess I am no longer normal Hope you all got a kick out of this story cause I am am dieing laughing at my own expense on this one LOL
Posted on: Thu, 30 Jan 2014 00:41:58 +0000
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