IF YOU ARE A NIGERIAN (WITH NO INTERNATIONAL ALLIANCE), YOU ARE SCREWED!!! Part 2 You have tried to live the Island life on a mainland budget, hanging around The Palms speaking through your nose, rubbing shoulders with “oil kids”; you in sneakers, your girlfriend in bum shorts feeling like Brangelina. You have lost aunties to child birth, uncles to hernia, nieces to tuberculosis. Police men have harassed you and your friends for drinking under a tree- in public; you were locked up for 24 hours, all your items- phone, watch and wallet taken from you. And. Nothing. You. Could. Do. About. It. You are governed by politicians who make you question human sanity. You have been judged for your lack of finesse and by your tribe too many times. You probably have tried “yahoo yahoo”; chatted with a white woman, promising her your undying love. She wants to come to Africa and settle down in a quiet forest with you and chirpy monkeys, but you try to convince her to bring you over instead. One day you chicken out of the scam when EFCC comes to your neighbourhood to pick up a $500 fraudster. That will be a national achievement and will appear on blogs. The corrupt unit is (t)werking! Now you are 44 with three kids and an overweight wife who used to be fair. You drive atokunbocar, work for a crazy man who travels to London frequently yet owes salaries. You have a few passions- you can sing, you can be funny, you can write…but Nigeria has made you this man who stands at the vendor stall chewing on politics like kolanuts. There’s not much to dream about. You are a Nigerian with bombings and kidnappings that go unsolved; embezzlement and poor living. Bad roads and electricity wahala since the day you were born! The lower-middle-class status that you hold onto so dearly is gradually slipping through your fingers. You have owed school fees for many terms, now you cook up lies- the latest one is the money-gulping illness of a dying stepmother; a lie so thick, just so you can revel in the sympathies of your children’s school proprietor. You check your bank balance every other hour. You are going to be a poor man if one more naira leaves your bank account. You will be diagnosed with hypertension soon. You have lived in your own hell, what more surprises can there possibly be in the land of the dead. Like Mama of Nigeria will say: “Dia ris God!” comment read part 1
Posted on: Wed, 18 Jun 2014 08:44:16 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015