IF YOU HOLD ON TO IT....YOU WILL FALL..... Growth begins when we accept our own weakness.~ John Vanier ;)~ Can it be different? I would have to say that it can....but over the years I have had to take a hard look at what it was that I actually wanted to be different...and why I wanted it so. Why did I not understand that I couldnt hold on to one thing, and have the other I wanted in my world for so long? Was THE GRUDGE I had against myself, and the world around me, the one thing that prevented it? They say that the one thing that will kill me quicker than anything is resentment that is held on to. It can chew at you, slowly at first, from the inside, then blatantly it can take over everything on the outside as well. Hatred towards others, the world, myself, it can manifest into a formidable evil cant it? What makes it worse is that it becomes so easy to actually live that way after awhile...The hardest part of my own change has at times been the letting go of all the old, easy ways, that I became accustomed to, and moving on to ones that at first were uncomfortable, but now I cant picture living without..... To truly let it go, doesnt truly mean I forget...and forgiveness is only guaranteed for me by me. I have ruined, wrecked, and reeked my own havoc on the lives of others and they may never forget, forgive, or give me the faintest glimpse of a chance to be part of their world again. No matter how much I have changed, they...may not have, and may not care to either. My new way doesnt mean I am absolved by any means....it just means I can go on each day working towards being something better....for this world I now find myself living in... In the same way, how I choose to live now doesnt mean everyone I find myself in contact with will be just like me, believe like me, practice the same principles I do....and I cant force them to either. It might not be right for them anyway, and more importantly who am I to think that I know better? I am no expert when it comes to someone elses life choices. I spent too many years making the wrong ones in my own to think I know now how someone else should live, and realistically, I am truly only responsible for my own.... It is myself that I must work on each day, accepting the challenges that come about from my life to this point, and working to overcome them. This is what defines me, and us, how we face these each day....and continue to move on. I know that I want something different because I have finally figured out what I dont want...and what I need to do so that I never have to go back to that again...the negative things have to go away, and the positive has to come in...the pain has to be dealt with, and the healing has to replace it... If I want to truly be free of it all, then each step I take to distance myself from what I held on to for so long can only serve that cause, to do things differently I have to train myself to think, act and feel differently until it is the only that I know, and it is all that I have left to hold on to....I dont have to worry about letting go of it and falling, because I was never in danger of being on the edge in the first place with it. Sure its true...Saturn ascends....and it does come round again...but for me....the planet Im on well...... It has a priceless view....and that is the most beautiful thing I can hold onto....because its mine.....again.....what once was....isnt any longer...what is...is...and my friends....what shall be?.....Its simple....it will be...as long as I remember that this time around its ok to...... let go.......... thanks for reading, Lance ;)~ we continue because....we can youtu.be/IQQlyJjBvcE
Posted on: Wed, 21 Jan 2015 05:49:30 +0000
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