INSERT 10 Sizwe slowly walked to the podium. The venue was silent. Everyone in the room was wounded. My mom kept crying silently next to me and all I could do was just sit there, numb… Sizwe finally got to the podium. He cleared his throat and looked directly at me. Sizwe: Death, be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; For those whom thou think thou dost overthrow Die not, poor Death, nor yet can thou kill me. From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be, Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow, And soonest our best men with thee do go, Rest of their bones, and souls delivery. Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men, And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell, And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well And better than thy stroke; why swellst thou then? One short sleep past, we wake eternally And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die. By John Donne There was dead silence… My mom was now squeezing my hand. My whole body felt so empty… I stared back at Sizwe… Sizwe: Death Be Not Proud is a powerful poem that serves as declaration against death. The poem dismantles death from something mysterious and feared, to something weak and irrelevant. It is grounded in the beliefs of Christian philosophy, in particular, its promise of eternal life. As I stand here today I declare that I do not fear death anymore. We have all been promised a life filled with joy and peace. I will see my baby one day. One sweet day. Death has won this round but we have won the entire fight. Luniko was still a new born. It kills me to know that she was never given the chance to live and enjoy life. But as we all know everything happens for a reason. It is clear that she has served her purpose even though it was short-lived. Today I let go of her. Only the sweet, heart-warming memories will remain- Memories which I will keep close to my heart, memories which will give me strength when I feel demotivated. I thank the universe for blessing my family with her. She brought us together. I will forever be thankful. May her soul rest in peace. I couldn’t take it anymore. I ripped all my clothes up and screamed. I felt my dad hold me and shake me. Dad: Inathinkosi look at me Me: Luniko! My mom was now also crying and screaming. Mom: I didn’t get the chance to be with her! I didn’t get the chance to kiss her! I do not remember how my granddaughter even looks like! How is that normal? Uthathwe ngingakatholi iskhathi sokumazi. She saw me when I was on my deathbed! Ushone engazi ukuthi kunjani ukuba ezandleni zami! She cried even louder and I also kicked and screamed. My father held me tightly. Sizwe was standing over me. He didn’t know what to do. Me: A huge part of me died with her! I opened my eyes and pleaded with my dad. Me: Please bring her back! I just want to take one look at her please! My father looked down at me and shook me hard. Me: Luniko! I heard my mom’s cries. Me: Please! He shook me even harder and I took a deep breath. I zoned out… My heart was aching so badly. “Inathinkosi” I wanted to be left alone. I felt someone shake me. I carefully opened my eyes. My dad was looking down at me. Him: Inathinkosi I looked at him. Him: It was a dream. I felt hot tears on my face. I slowly wiped them and closed my eyes again to gather my thoughts. That dream felt so real. It took me to a place I thought I had shut out- once again. I opened my eyes and sat up. My mom was on the other side. I stared at her. Her face was red and puffy. Me: Mama Her: How I long for the day that you are truly happy and you are not haunted by your thoughts and past. She started crying. Dad: Nosakhele calm down Mom: No! How can I live knowing that my only child is so damaged?? She cried even harder. I slowly got up from the bed and went to where she was. I put my arms around her. Me: Mama ungakhali Her: All of this is my fault. I passed all my darkness onto you! All the experiences I went through are now being passed on to you! Me: Mama stop! We sat there and waited for her to calm down. She eventually stopped crying. Me: If there is one thing you have passed down to me, it’s your strength. Stop blaming yourself for things that are beyond us. I’m still here aren’t I? I also have my days were I feel demotivated and don’t see why I should carry on living but having both of you has strengthened me. You always pray that God gives me strength to deal with all challenges I face. He answered that prayer so why are you acting like this? Dad: God is using Inathinkosi as a testament. We should be thankful that He keeps guiding her and instilling in her more than enough courage to face all that life throws at her. My mom calmed down. Mom: Seeing you like this… It breaks my heart. Me: Don’t be like that… I’m fine. She stood up. Her: Well I’m not. I can’t stand to watch my only daughter suffer like this… She walked out of the room. I sat on the bed next to my dad. Dad: She’ll calm down, let’s give her some space. Me: I understand where she is coming from. Dad: Yes I also do but it’s about time she accepts that God placed us in this position for a reason. We are a praying family Inathinkosi so we should not question any of our circumstances. Because of all the horrible things you went through, you are reminded that God came through for you. Unlike your mother, I have faith in you. I believe in you. You know how to handle yourself in tough situations and I can only thank God for that because as a parent there is only so much protection I can provide. You need to stay independent and know that the reason you are able to stand so firmly is because prayer is your foundation… I smiled and hugged him. Him: Go back to sleep. I nodded and he left the room. I got back in bed and took my phone. I dialled Sizwe’s number. He picked up after a while. Sizwe: Hello Me: Hey, did I wake you up? Him: It’s 4am in the morning Me: I’m sorry. He kept quiet for a while. Him: Are you okay? What’s wrong? Inathinkosi talk to me! Me: Calm down, it’s nothing deep. Him: Manje what’s up? Me: I had a bad dream. Him: Yini? Me: It was a recollection of Luniko’s funeral. He was quiet for a while. Me: But I’m fine now Him: Are you sure? Me: Yes Suddenly I heard baby sounds. Me: Sorry for waking you guys up Him: He has been up for 2 hours now Me: Shame Him: Inathi are you sure you’re fine? Me: Yes I am. I’ll call you tomorrow Him: Ok. Me: Bye Him: Ye wena Me: Mxm I love you Him: I love you too. I hung up and went back to sleep.
Posted on: Sun, 12 Oct 2014 03:30:30 +0000
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