INSERT 52 Ndangena esangweni weza kum umntanam ebaleka wandanga aphezinyaweni kwanyanzeleka ndigobe ndimncamise.Ndathi makayothatha isitshixo kula ndlu bendimshiye kuyo.Kalo I left the key in case they neede something for her.Wabuya naso savula endlini ndabeka usana phantsi.Ndapha uKanyi iiBanana endandimthengele zona egeythini eMadzikane.Siya wayethumele imali yeeNappies wabe esithi uzophinde ayizame enye.Ndafika kungekho nenye endlini uba yayikhona kwakuyiset yokwenza iti qha qwaba ifriji inamanzi kuphela kaloku zange ndide ndiyithenge igrocery encinci kulo mthutho ndandiwenza ndandincama neyokugqibela.Ndaba ngajonga akhomntu unokundiyela etown apha eyardini.Laa ntombi ibihleli noKanyi incinci uzoske angayazi noba uthatha ntoni evenkileni besides xa unemali encinci kungcono uzicukucezele kunokuba uthumele.I had to take a risk and leave the kids together ndayaleza nje uba amane ebakroba etown kwakukufutshane nhoko ndandihlala aphezantsi eBadibanise.Le mali ngoku ndandise ndizothenga ngayo ukutyana ndinyanzeleke ndithenge iiNappies ezingabhadlanga ezimbalwa futhi.Ndaya kwaBoxer ndathenga nje okungenani i30 minutes ndisedolophini yayininzi ndabuya ngoku ngoku.Ndafika beseright abantwana.Umntu wayenokundiphikisa ukuba ndinomthungo indlela le endandidlwayizela ngayo.Laliphelile ixesha lokuzincenga.Ndabuyela endlini ndisiva kuyatshiiisa aphemthungweni.Ndenzela nje uKanyi ukutya ndangena ezingubeni ndalala.Umntana ndandimfake ebeleni kwakunyanzelekile.Asa wafika ezise uEmihle.Wamshiya futhi wayesefuneka esikolweni.Wayesancanca ititi uEmihle engekagqibi nonyaka eza kuwugqiba ngoMarch. I had this Daycare Plan on my mind.I was planning to do a daycare.Ndathi xa ndicinga kungcono ndiyiqale kule ndawo ndirenta kuyo,endlwini and as it grows I can go out and look for a room to rent.Kwakukhona enye intombi yapha eyardini eyayinosana nayo and she encouraged me to do it uzomzisa umntwana apha kum.She was working in a salon.Ndathi ndakubona isituation ndamxelela ivuliwe iDaycare,she was happy to give me R300 yenyanga as I priced.Wamzisa umntwana.So I had 4 kids to look after.Ndandingaziqondi nalapha ebubeleni but I managed.Siya would check up on me few times in a weeK.I took a decision to do this daycare thing.Ndaqonda kuselungelweni to address uJola(Mastandi) ukuba whats happening.But wala ngelithi ..andibathandi abantwana eyardini yam ndamnkela nje abo beeTenants.Ndaphoxeka kanjalo kuba kaloku I thought I was doing everything the safe way ndandingafuni ukuxhoma amaphepha eyardini yakhe achaza ngeDaycare abe engayazi loo nto.It was so unfortunate because iYard yeeFlats yakhe nomzi wakhe zazahlulwe lucingo koko wayeza kubona everything thats happening.Ndaqaphela kukho enye iYard ekhona futhi ingasendleleni and ayikudanga nalaphendlini yam kwaye zizindlu nje ezinkulu.Ndazama iContact No.S komakhelwane bale yard ndazifumana.Ndazipha ithuba ndamfonela wangumntu oza kuzosabela ngeCawe ethile.Ndaqhubeka ndihlala noAhlume,kweza nolunye usana olwaluxelelwe nguBulie umama kaAhlume lo usebenza eSalon.Ndandizivalela pha endlini ke ndihoyane naba bantwana kuphele imini.Ndaya kuyothetha naye laa tata ngeCawe wavuma akabona ngxaki.So I needed 500 for iRent yala ndlu.Kwafika uUnie engakayazi noba ubheka ngaphi but she had failed Grade 12 so umakazi,her gaurdian was still organizing something for her. Kwalapha kuFebruary kwakunala nto yayisenziwa kuvuselelwa igrant zabantwana ngoku kwakubekiswa iminwe kusithiwa uba kufike uMarch ungakagximfisi imali yomrholo iyaphela.So I was bound to uba ndiyolanda uThando.Aniyazi nina amatiletile imizamo nemigudu endayenzayo ukuze alandwe aziswe ndandisendimkhumbula ke wethu ntonayo nje ndibethwa yimeko.Wade wazokufika.iCreche kwakungaba basendlini bebodwa.Kwathi xa kuphela uFebruary babhatala abantwana bobabini Ndayithatha yonke ndayoyifaka eDaycare ndasala neR100.NdandiPlanee to rent le enye indlu special for Daycare then I continue staying kwaJola as my house.I asked my half sister,Avuyile,to assist me as I would not cope being alone.Umthungo wam wawungade uphole tu uhleli nje umanukugxiza amanzi ibandage libe manzi tixi.Eyona nto yayindoyikisa kodwa ndiqonde andikazuya esibhedlela,wawusabonakala iirhali kukho nelicala laligqobhokile lingade livaleke tu.My sisters insisted I go to hospital but ndandizobashiya nabani abantwana.Le yeGrant imali yaphelela ezandleni kukutya nezidingo zalapha endlini kwabe kufuneke siye naseKokstad apho ndandibabhalise khona abantwana.Saya eKokstad kundim nabantwana kungekho mntu undikhaphileyo kwakungazubakho mali yakhe yokugibela.Ndabopha uCwenga ngembeleko ngaphambili ndachula isibini sayofika eKokstad.sayenza sayigqiba into ebesiyizele sabuyela emva.And I had no funds to secure my flat.Ndathi chu ukuyoxolisa kuJola ndifika phoff wavuma ukulinda kubeyi15 kaMarch.Yahamba kakuhle iDaycare abantwana abafikayo babathathu phezu kwaba babini bangamasana ebesihleli sihlala nabo.Sasithutha ekuseni sonke siyohlala kula yard yeDaycare noAvuyile ekhona,sibuye emalanga nabantwana boonke.uUnie yade yalunga into yakhe wayengenayo nesepha le yokuhlamba waya eAdventist ezobona phambili.Ewe ngumakazi who organised the school for her.Ukuhamba kwakhe kweza uYonie owayesahlala eMtata but engenzinto kula nyaka ezokundincedisa kwaba bantwana.One Saturday yayingekafiki i15 seva ngeKnock emnyango. Me:Ngena!.Kwabe kugcwele aba bam endlini ndandingavuli ngeeSundays eDaycare.NoAhlume ke owayebhatalelwa extra cash on sundays kuba umamakhe wayevula eSalon nangeeSundays wayengenasuku aphumla ngalo which affected me too. Wakhe wema kancinci uJola wanikina intloko. Jola:le daycare ntomabazane ndini ndandingayivumanga uyiqhuba ngenkani apha kwam?heeee? Me:hayi bhuti iDaycare inendlu yayo ngabantwana bam aba. Jola:hayi marn sundibhanxa yile into endingazuyimela kukubhanxwa nguwe undenza uthonqo wakho okokuqala ndikuvele ndakuvumela uhlale ngaphandle kweRent ngoku wena wenza le nto ndandithe andiyifuni? Huuuh? WayengaShoutisi marn ethethela apha phezulu umntongutata nodlula ngendlela wayeyiva kuliwa ngantoni pha endlini.Okubuhlungu wayendishoutela phambi kwabantwana bam.Ndiqoba umnqwazi ndidomboza ndidyengezelisa amehlo infront of my kids.Undithembisa nangokundivuna ngemvubu apha phambi kwabo.Watsho esithi ...phumani endlini yam... hambani ngoku...mnkani! andinakuhlala nani nibangaka!uyandibhanxa ngaba ntwana bedaycare aba ..Ndikhweleleni kwam.Landiya ngaloo mini ilanga lihlabumhlaba.Ndaba ngazama ukucacisa,it was way beyond my abilities to stop him.Zange sibe nayo enye ichoice but to move again.Saqweba amandla noYonie kuphele namandla okuhleka.We were moving to laa ndlu yaseDaycare laa nto ndandiyibaleka uba yenzeke siSharee with Daycare kids.Sathutha kwade kwangokuhlwa simanukucela nabadlula ngendlela.Kwakunqongophele nento le ityiwayo endlini kodwa sasicenga.Ndathi kwiveki elandela leyo kwakuzi15 kwakhona umntwana obhatalayo ndathi kuYonie makakhaphe uThando agoduke akhe asinciphise kancinci.UYonie wayemane endishiya ke aye eMtata ndisale mna nabantwana bam kodwa ke nhoko ngoku ndandise ndibaqhelile.UAvuyile wafumana umsebenzi kwenye iInternet Cafe etown kwanyanzeleka asishiye.Abantwana beDaycare nhoko babebhatala qha ndandibethakala ngoba babengabhatali ngexesha elinye babebhatala ngeedates ezahlukeneyo.uBlues wayengabonwa ndawo kuKanyi wakhe.USiya wayephosa xa ethandile it was so obvious akasazibali kwayena kum wayefona ngoko nangoko.This other time he said he is gonna come home uzososke azosijonga abone umntwana.Anything that involved him did not excite me at all because he did not love me at my weakest point when I needed someone to love me,to care for me to show commitment to me he did not slowly but surely I had to accept it is the way it is.Ndandingebhitye marn kwakungathi zezi nkomo zingakhange zitye ngca ngokwaneleyo zavele zanenyongo zilambe zinjalo.Iimpahla zam zingowaxa.Umthwalo wam undisinda ndidinga ukuncedwa ngu-sana.Edolophini when I meet people they would ask if I am okay na which made me more stressed.I had not gone home since I went to Badibanise.My cousin sis only from my family,kulomama nakulotata who was showing concern.This other time she suggested I go to her house ndiyohlala khona nomntana eworse kuselalini enye nasekhaya ndandingekhe ndikwazi.So awkward ndandingayicingi kwaukugoduka,ndandingakukhumbuli tu ndandiright pha ndikhona. Abantwana bam they were used to ukutya twice in a day nakhona not ukutya okusulungekileyo mhlawumbe isonka nesoup.IFull meal sasiyiva ngembali.Omnye umntu uzakuzibuza kanti iDaycare?Imali yeRent yaye yenyuka basofumanisa nathi sihlala phaya yayiR700.and I had only 4 kids.Eyegrant ndandiyiboni noba iphelela phi.Ndandithenga ukutya okungaphelelanga amathsuphelele nje ezinto uyazi kwam kwakungekho nto yayiba mnandi nditsho nangala mini kurholwa ngayo.Abantwana baphelela kwabo bayi4 bangenyuki tu.Into entsha kengoku aba bam base beqhele izkhaftina zaba beDaycare.Heeee wawungahleka ulale xa kuzongena umntwana ekseni aba bam bayohlala ngakula bag uba makude kukhutshwe iscarftin.sithi ukuba sikhutshwe kube ngathi bekuphekelwe bona bazoma apha nalo mntwana bakhamise kude kuphele ukutya.Kube bhetele xa eye wathumela notata kaEmihle kuba wayethumela.Wafika uApril owayeza kubuya ngawo uSiya.Kula mzi kukho indlu eyayingenaTenants iVacant.Ndaqonda ndizosebenzisa yona loo mzuzu ekhona uSiya kuba wayezofika ngoMgqibelo ekuseni esukela kowabo ahambe ngoMvulo so it was only gonna be on Saturday where I will need to do these arrangements.Ndandingafuni andibone xa ndixhatshwa ngaba ntwana I had to hire someone ozondigadela kulaa ndlu.Aba bam had to be away.Khona umama esasikhonza naye waseSapukanduku,she was like family wayevana nomama esaphila,ndamfonela ndacela yena ukuba andincede qha ke ndamqhatha ndathi ndisa lo mntana mncinci kowabo.Ndandingenothethinyani kaloku yayizobakhona ingxaki.Ndabakhaphekezela ndayobashiya eSapukanduku,Cwenga nabanye ndibashiya noAnti lo zobagada kwabe kungoLwesihlanu.Wafika uSiya ngomgqibelo ekuseni nyhani.Kwafika umntu osefuna ukubona umntanakhe.We hugged briefly.Wakhulula iimpahla wangena kushortI neePush.Wabe esithi uthe kowabo uya eBizana kulochomie wakhe.That did not bother me more than uba I was hurting when I realised the cold air between us.I could not believe ba that virus that hit me so hard with my ex baby dads would have access nakule irelationship I had with Siya which was so unique or am I the one who regarded it as special?I cooked his favourite meal macarroni,cheese and minced meat.Satya sagqiba salungiselela ulala.Ndikuxeleluba umntwana walala phakathi kwethu.Caba akho kwanto evukayo na kulo bhuti bethuna ndibhitye kakhulu ndade ndangamniki mdla.Sasincokola nje general mostly about Cwenga mhlawumbe uba uyazamla okanye ufunibele yileyo intwesizoyincokola.Umntu wabusy nefone yakhe akulala uCwenga.Ndamva phaa ngoo11 ebusuku ethetha.. Siya:ulele na Aya? Me:ha.a andilalanga ..God knows how much I wanted to weep but I juc couldnt let it happen. Siya:ungakwazi ukumover umntana umbeke apho ngakuwe wena uze ngapha kule ndawo yakhe.I was scared to even get close to him kwakungathi uzothi ndinuka ibisi lwebele.Eitherway I moved the baby.Ndasondela kuye ndathi xa ndimgila apha kubhuti oko ayezimamele amaTogu alele yoyi.I remember thinking kumhla ndabandela indoda namhlanje.He held me so pretty tight he whispered in my ear I still love you elo xesha mna andibambileyo ndandingathi ndiHangekile nje,ndixhonywe ecingweni. I responded I love you too.My mind couldnt let that fool me.Sabambabambana apha kungathi siyaprektiza.kwade kwayondelelana kuhle wena kungathi ngutata nomama esekudala batshata bade babhorana.Obo busuku benza kanye le nto bendiyifuna bakhawuleza.
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 04:50:06 +0000