Id like to share an issue that used to hold me back big-time in the past and one thing that helped me to break out of that place. Back when I was still single I often got quite nervous before a date. And before that, when I didnt have a date at all in a long time, I got nervous before most social situations. It was no fun. And it prevented me from being able to be my best self. One very simple thing that helped me to radically reduce this and still helps me to this day if I feel nervous in some situation (social or otherwise) is this: A few minutes before you step into the meeting, job interview or date that makes you nervous slow down. Walk slower to the meeting place. Move slower. Then stop. Stand still or sit down for a minute. And then just breathe. Take a little deeper breaths than usual. Make sure you breathe with your belly and not with your chest (a common problem when people get nervous). Focus on just your slow in-breaths and out-breaths for a minute or two. This will calm your mind and body down, make it easier to think normally again and that singular focus will draw you back into this moment again instead of leaving you lost in the thoughts of past failures or future worries that can be so destructive. By doing this over and over again whenever I felt nervous before a social situation I became more confident because I knew I could always use this if I needed. And by using it and over time expanding my comfort zone socially the old normal of feeling nervous got replaced with a new normal where I was more relaxed in these situations and had much less need to use this technique at all.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Mar 2014 09:00:59 +0000