If At First You Don’t Succeed… By the time we had been in Zambia two weeks culture shock had fully set in. It’s one thing to respond to God’s call when you’re barely out of high school that you will be a missionary; and it’s one thing to spend years preparing to go to the regions beyond; but as I learned in due course it is entirely another thing to stand in hot Gwembe Valley in the interior of Africa thousands of miles from home and actually be a missionary. I was getting more than a little frustrated about several things. For one thing, I was really missing my great lifestyle and comforts back in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and especially friends and family. Chababboma Mission had a way of really heightening this sense of longing as you felt so isolated. And, it was going to be years before I would be going home! I will never forget standing on the back veranda and looking out over the mountain range, emotionally numb from the realization I was actually in Africa and I found myself humming the popular song “On a Clear Day, You Can See Forever”. If truth be told, I didn’t want to see forever I wanted to see the United States! Actually, I have only known one or two other missionaries who went through homesickness to this degree. But, it came,..... it went,... and all is well that ends well. On one particular day at the height of this emotional period in my life it occurred to me in a rather quiet way as I was staring out the dining room window that we hadn’t had a meal yet on this mission station that I really enjoyed. And as it so happened, while I was looking out the window there walking past the veranda tending its own business, enjoying the sunshine was the chicken that the Zambians had given me as a gift when I first arrived on the mission. The idea hit me like a thunder bolt! What I need is a good old American fried chicken dinner; that should just do the trick to get me out of the doldrums. And then on the heels of this dandy idea came another idea in the form of a question flashing like a neon sign; “Who is going to kill that chicken?” I simply couldn’t ask one of the Africans to do it for me; what kind of an impression would that make? The new mission superintendent can’t kill a chicken! Now, I had seen my dad kill a few chickens when I was just a kid, but apart from that all the chicken I ever came in contact with was wrapped in cellophane in the meat section of the grocery store. “Well, after all, I am a missionary now, life is going to be different in many ways and I was going to have to do a lot of new things that I hadn’t done before. So buck up, Joe there is food to put on the table!” Out the door I went to fetch me a hatchet from the tool room; if we’re going to have a chicken dinner there is no time like the present”. The only way I knew how to kill a chicken was the way my dad did it many years ago, chop its head off. I couldn’t find a hatchet but the ax I found would do the job nicely. It was sort of like using a sledge hammer to insert a thumbtack, but I didn’t have much choice. Ugh! I had some African children help me run the chicken down; evidently news got out what I was up too and the chicken was having no part of it. This was the first time that I learned if you are doing anything outdoors you are going to have an audience because the Africans were immensely interested in everything you did. It gave me this feeling I was on stage performing a scene from Hamlet before an audience, which if the truth be told made me a little nervous. I found a log of wood I could use for a chopping block; and so with ax in hand and the chicken firmly grasped by the legs in the other hand I commenced with the ghastly deed. I was somewhat taken back at first at how cooperative the chicken was. I guess I was expecting a lot of squawking. I laid its head on the chopping block while still holding on to its legs and it just laid there with its one eye staring at me as though it was asking, “whatcha doin”? Now I had never killed a living thing in my life up to this point and the idea of ending the life of this very trusting chicken did not set well with me. I came to the conclusion “I cannot look at what is about to happen, I will just take aim and then look away at the moment of contact. Which is what I did… whaaaack! Then I pitched the chicken a little ways away on the ground so that it could flop around which is what I understood they do. That’s the way it worked for dad. To my amazement that crazy chicken got up and took off, lickety-split! I had only nicked one side of its neck. Well, I felt terrible about the whole thing but there is only one thing to do; run it down again and make another attempt, the chicken can’t run around the mission in that condition. But of course now it really is wise to what I am up too and for sure it was not going to cooperate in any shape, matter or form. The children were able to get the thing cornered and after bringing it to me I followed through in the same manner only this time with a little more determination;.. whaaaack! Threw the thing on the ground as before, and I declare if that silly guy didn’t get up and take off again! This time I had only nicked the other side of its neck. By this time my audience had gained in number; I suppose word had gotten around what was going on and by their grins and snickers I could tell this was the most entertaining thing they had seen on the mission in some time. They were clearly enjoying watching this new missionary kill a chicken in a way they had never seen before in their entire lives. We ran the chicken down for the third time only this time I said to myself, “Joe, you gotta look whether you like it or not! Deal with it!” So I looked and whaaaack! This time the deed was done! I HAD NOW BECOME A FULLFLEDGED MISSIONARY! I felt as though I had slain a ferocious Lion. We did have that fried chicken dinner by the way and it did taste very good and it did lift my spirits. Before I left Zambia 8 years later, I had butchered many a chicken; in fact I got kinda good at it. I found myself getting this gleam in my eye whenever I saw a chicken strutting around the mission that looked especially plump and delicious.
Posted on: Wed, 25 Sep 2013 22:28:40 +0000
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