If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Shorty and Lofty. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though its only for $52.50. None of them will have anything smaller. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YES..!!! MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesnt need but its on sale. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, razor, soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical womans bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesnt. A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change, but she does. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 18:48:32 +0000
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