If anyone is noticing Im quieter and more pensive they are right. The anniversary of Chili-Chili-Coco-Puffs passing is late next week and so my mind is flooded with memories, and sadness, and wishful thinking. This is what you accept when you love a dog but it doesnt make it less bittersweet. I am absolutely shocked that she is gone. The grief is still real. If only I had her longer, most of my dogs live to seventeen. She was only fourteen and a half. I know thats old but not as old as others who have succumbed to their eternal sleep. I never kept her alive too long, she let me know and I caught it. She played with her monkey all night long before that goddammit oh so dark day. But we still havent gone to Kauai to scatter her ashes, its just too expensive now. We will when we can, perhaps in June. Jacks and my ten year anniversary of our first kiss is in June, even though we were roommates for fifteen years before. Maybe we can save up some money... I love my present dogs with no reservation, arms held wide to clasp Manzanita and Andy in happy hugs or uncontrolled laughter as we play. I love them so very much. They know their Momma isnt there yet. Sometimes they come up to me and put their cheeks on mine or one of them will lay their head on my lap. They are wonderful, happy, spoiled rotten dogs But they are my therapy dogs also, thank God. I have really good friends that totally give me support in my grief but this is a trek I make alone with no little terrier walking by my side anymore. Its so very quiet.
Posted on: Thu, 22 Jan 2015 20:22:48 +0000
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