If it isnt going to work out... If its something you invested all in on........ Then the key is survival/recovery..... Boston can be downright wicked sometimes..... Shell whisper promises in ya ear, and the next day it was just whispers..... And if you cant get use to that change quick....SHIT..... This goes across the board for arts and otherwise. Man Ive invested heart and soul in every TV/Radio/Music/Comedy idea I tried to plant in this city over the past ten years... My pulse becomes invested, and I do or die... Ultimately Im the one stuck in the waiting room finding out it has flat-lined... And damn I take it ten Xs harder than the average bear. Im blessed to have friends that I can connect with very viscerally about all this.....I come into their infirmary with a massive head wound, and they still know how to stitch me up for another go...Sometimes just enough to get me back into battle even if Im so damaged internally... Im getting better at not venting on FB (NYs resolution) But that pain has to be dispelled somehow...... Otherwise theres this personality inside me....Lets call it the assassin... Just waiting there in my head for something soul crushing enough to start planning a Ku De Ta and take my noggin down. I had one of those weeks where every night.....late.....Its just whispering in my head all the shit that went down badly..... and how easy it can be to just stop this weight on my shoulders crushing me.... Some nights Im so lonely, and its the only voice around when its three in the morning and theres no one to release to. Ive been through this tide of emotions and passions for so long, and shit dawg I get so fried.... But I cant prove that to you... I can say/create something that conveys it.... But you dont know how bad its hurting me in my noggin, and I can only guess how deep it runs in yours. Anyhow Im an artist.... and Im always creating...such as this.. .........This must be a good example of the self-realization that has evolved inside me through choosing to be creative. It comes out in every conversation now, and has merit and values as deep as meditation. A gear of connection that takes time through the practice of being creative, and the vulnerability that trying to be creative provides. It helps make more meaningful dialog comfortable with everyone. .....Believe in the arts. It will evolve you, refine you, and pull you closer to the pulse....It aint about stats online for your painting..... I feel better now
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 18:11:21 +0000
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