If one lives and is true to himself and his conscience, as human, he may fall short of the expectations of all that knew him, or wanted to. But the most heart-wrenching truth comes when he realizes he has failed himself. I have always considered myself a better man than what my actions proved me to be. These are scars of the heart that I must live with during the quiet of the night and the loneliness of the day. Yet this is my life and God has granted me no promise of another, no sure hope of tomorrow. Thus, I repost this poem as a way of saying to those I have offended; I offended without knowledge, those who I have bruised, I bruised without intent and for those I have loved and left, I did so without malice. I am but a man. I have lived as one, loved as one, and shall die as one, but I never intended to harm, hurt, or to be the reason for tears. For you dear Contessa Isabella Vacani. You always knew me and loved me without prejudice. And in secret, in our personal conversations, you never allowed me to feel sorry for myself. I remember you saying so vividly to me over the phone one day I was feeling very low, you said in a firm and loving voice... Man!! Stand up!! (My Poem) I tap a melody in the house of God. My heart beats in rhythm to tears... falling like an orchestra of dropping rain, tis the currency of spirits pain, war drums from the soul... a new sort of blues, that are easy to get used to. Such a strong song... That the mind strums When dreams become The only thing you can hold on to They say everything dies, except hurt caused by loveless lies Spoken in the name of love But true love despised. How does one start over then When doubt spreads mighty wings, flies through wounded soul again resurrecting old dead things And condemns my forgiven sins Is that not the greater hell, When one cannot forgive themselves, For wrongs they never knew were done the ones you remember so well Refusing to let by-gones stay gone. Bleeding from open wounds guilt constructs its own isolated cell And thus am I in-tombed A fool feeing sorry for himself. I believe I shall never find, A way to flee the misery of my mind So I wait patiently For the healing that comes naturally In time. If it comes at all... ~ Tonny K Brown
Posted on: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 01:36:33 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015