If only I could use Right Now!!!!... It would bring me the relief I want.. It feels like Im dying over these emotions....But I am NOT willing to pay any consequences that active addiction brings...Yes, my ass is falling off. Im actively dealing with pain Ive carried for 45 years. I am vulnerable, I feel exposed and in a way harmed and rejected once more by the same person who harmed me and has continued to harm me over the last 45 years....I forgave him 4months ago and yesterday he acknowledged the letter But denied some of its content....And then there was no acknowledgement of other content... ....I dont know where to go from here.... I have zero experience with these feelings ..... I just want to get loaded.. BUT I WONT.. No Matter What!.. Pain shared is pain lessoned but sometimes it makes it Worse.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Mar 2014 22:06:44 +0000
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