If someone makes an observation about your act, and your inclination is to get defensive; that proves that on some level, you know they may be right. - Brad Henderson I thought I would expound on this for no good reason beyond enjoying the sound of my own typing. (truth is, I think I might tweak this over time and see if I can make a reasonably cogent essay out of it. No promises for this draft.) Here’s how I came to this conclusion: I am lucky to call some of the greatest magicians in the world friends. Because of this lucky circumstance, I regularly benefit from brilliant advice and insightful comments. As one would expect, most of the ideas shared are excellent. But every now and then someone gives you a note and it completely changes the way you think about a particular piece, performance in general, or some magic concept. These epiphanal moments are rare for anyone, but most of us know firsthand that they indeed do happen. Yet in equal measure, every now and then, someone (not a valued friend, but some random magic person), well-meaning and constructively intentioned, offers an idea and that idea is just crap. Not always! But sometimes. Every now and then someone will offer a critique and I know instantly suggestion is dead wrong. This is not always their fault. The line they suggest might be a perfectly fine one EXCEPT that I have already considered it and dismissed it for very good reasons integral to the overall structure of my show and/or artistic goals. Maybe I don’t want to kill the moment with a laugh, or perhaps I don’t want to use stock lines. Maybe I don’t want to add time, but streamline. They are most likely unaware of many of these considerations especially if we are just talking tricks apart from larger show concepts. Sometimes it’s because the move or trick they suggest, while ok, has a superior incarnation of which they are unaware. It’s very easy to dismiss those suggestions, and most of the time one can use the exchange as an opportunity to direct a fellow magician to new resources. And sometimes you get comments from people who just don’t get it. They think that a playing card tie endears them to the audience, and that any jokes too risqué for the Red Skelton TV show are inappropriate in magic. Sometimes their goals are just different than mine – for a piece or as a magician. Magic is one of the few “arts” where many believe there is one and only one viable goal - – laughter and applause elicited via the antics of vapid caricatures of anachronistic stereotypes who please themselves in front of others – who must not be challenged beyond a third grade developmental level. But that’s another issue. For whatever reason, when someone gives you an idea or a critique and you know in your heart of hearts that it is completely off the mark, and you know a thousand reasons why – how do you feel? Do you get angry? Defensive? Sad? Probably not. Instead you feel nothing. Maybe gratitude that someone cared enough to want to try to help, but ultimately one’s ego, one’s emotions, remain in check. But, if I am honest, I will confess that sometimes people will make an observation and I want to explain that “usually I do this” or “that’s the first time that happened” or “well, I do this because I know that . . .” Those may be our words, but what we are really saying is “yes you caught me and I’m too proud to just say so, so I’m going to tell you how I want to imagine that it usually goes” or “I screwed up and I don’t want to admit it” or (and this is the interesting one) “I haven’t considered that choice before, or remain unconvinced I have made the best choice there – especially now that it is being thrown in my face - so now I’m going to try to convince myself that you’re wrong and preserve my precious feelings of smug superiority.” I think I’m right, but this time I FEEL something. (This is my preferred mode of defensiveness, if I’m being honest.) Let’s face it, if we REALLY knew in our heart of hearts that each of our choices were not only carefully considered but were indeed established via theory and performance to be the absolute best possible, and that our execution was flawless; we wouldn’t get defensive, we wouldn’t argue, we wouldn’t try to save face. We would just KNOW the guy was wrong and would get on with it. We wouldn’t “feel” anything. But I did. And most people do. It was after working on several crazy big projects that I noticed “not feeling” a lot when people would offer “suggestions” or question certain choices. These projects were very complicated and often only one or two people were completely “read into” the entire production concept. The other couple hundreds of people had to be creative and contribute to a story they might only know parts of. So there were LOTS of questions – great questions. And having worked harder on this than anything in my life, I realized that I COULD listen and feel absolutely nothing when I knew that, in my heart of hearts, the choices made were truly the best (and sometimes the only) ones to make. This didn’t happen all the time, but the nature of the event led to it happening a lot. Of course, I’ve had that feeling before regarding opinions on magic ideas, but this event was the first time I became AWARE of the confidence one feels when so much of what they have done is really carefully thought out. Of course, there were many times when that just wasn’t the case at all. The production, as mine always do, gets going and you end up just holding on for dear life. This is when all those things I didn’t think about start rearing their heads. While there were many exchanges in which I felt that complete confidence, there were too many times when I would find myself holding that lump in my throat, or staying awake trying to convince myself why “that guy was so wrong”. Emotions ran high and these were INTENSE. One night I had to step back and reevaluate the approach. For some reason, it finally hit me. By focusing on my feelings I was able to make a substantial analytical leap for myself. What I discovered was that I could use my feelings as a gauge that shows me how far along I really am on any given idea or concept. It helped me pin point problem areas that required a greater depth of thought. It saved my ass. But I also realized that applies to criticism we receive in the magic world. When we get defensive it is our inner artist, the one who speaks only truth, tugging on our uvula signaling that we still have work to do. That artist knows that you over looked something now obvious. It knows that you don’t feel completely confident during that moment in the show. It knows that joke doesn’t really get that big of a laugh and everybody does it. It knows when you are being true to yourself, or trying to wear someone else’s character. (to be read ala Homer Simpson) Stupid, inner artist. That’s the observation. I feel it speaks truth, but as its author, one would expect that. So, having stated the obvious, it behooves us to consider what we should do when we feel the urge to slap, feel the red burning on one’s check? Well, Instead of defending my choices, I could take advantage of the person in front of me. I could ask them to tell me why they thought this line would work, or why they think this move may be better for me. I could ask them to describe my character? Even if I still thought the line was a bad choice, I would get to see how well I was at communicating my intention. Heck, if they are willing, I could try to tell them about my goals and if that would change their opinion. Someone who wants to critique strongly enough to approach me has clearly demonstrated a high degree of motivation and interest. Why not take advantage of that situation? Even if they just want to show how clever they are by repeating a line they once heard used by another magician who heard it at a comedy club – that person is can provide many insights by answering specific questions you put to them. I hate to say this, but we know this happens, someone approaching you with hurtful intent if kind of committed to sticking around and answering a few questions. They might as well be one’s that help you grow. It is important to remember that we are ultimately responsible for the experiences we provide for our audiences. It behooves the diligent, thoughtful performer to consider as many options as possible. Even if someone’s specific advice might not be usable, they may help call one’s attention to other aspects of performance in need of consideration. Sometimes insightful, thoughtful people can identify when something doesn’t feel right on stage, but because they are not familiar with magic or theatrical terms have a hard time communicating specifics. Sometimes you can figure out what’s wrong only by exploring the other elements to see why they are right. That’s what I would do if I were smart. But, truth is, most of those I came up with in trying to compose a positive, practical ending for this piece. So far, I have used those “lump in the throat” moments as bookmarks. I try to remember when I felt them and target those moments when I next work on the piece, or reconsider the idea. We could spend hours a day posting meaningless back and forth’s on facebook or the Magic Café, or instead we could note our feelings when we feel inclined and instead choose to think a little more, rehearse a little more, experiment a little more until we know that – for us – we have definitely made the right choices. Once you know you have made the right choices for us, we can focus not on our own feelings, but those of our audiences. That is always a step in the right direction.
Posted on: Wed, 04 Sep 2013 05:10:37 +0000
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