If we find that our relationships with other people in our lives are often difficult, this is usually because we never learned to have a healthy relationship with ourselves. Everyone can have problems with someone in their lives, but if you experience problems with many people in your life, then the place to look to change your relationships is within rather than outside yourself. As a child we may not have felt lovable. This makes it difficult for us to connect to others in a loving way. If we don’t feel lovable then we often view the people in our relationships as the suppliers of the love that we don’t have within ourselves. This leads us to believe that other people have some power over how we feel, which then causes us to be angry with other people when they don’t do or say what we need to feel good about ourselves. It is our own emotional wounds that prevent us from having loving relationships. To be able to have the type of relationships that most of us would like, we have to address our lack of self worth, change our negative beliefs about ourselves and heal the wounds of our childhood. What we should be aiming for in our relationships is healthy interdependence , where we give away some power over our feelings to other people, rather than co-dependence, where we completely give away our power to other people. We might also need to recognise that in keeping people out of our lives and not giving away any power over our feelings, we are still being co- dependent. Counter-depende ncy is just co-dependency in denial. When we have a healthy relationship with ourselves, we’ll also begin to have healthy relationships with other
Posted on: Tue, 20 Aug 2013 11:13:06 +0000
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