If you know me you know the Big Sigh. The one where I inhale and exhale deeply and my shoulders drop in unison. It usually denotes a point of resignation in a conversation or activity, and not in a good way. So I had lunch at the Heritage Diner, in Hackensack. They make a passable Cobb salad. I had the same waitress from a previous lunch and shell work you for a good tip. Shell give you good service, but shell chat you up. I enjoy a good chatting up. In walk four handsome women in their going out to lunch with the girls apparel. Designer sweat tops, Lulu Lemon yoga pants, crocs or designer sandals. They looked like what they are Southern Bergen county Kept women. You know the type. They get ensconced on the table next to my booth. They disregard me with a glance (I may be cute, but Im still asian, or a brown depending on your pov), and go on chatting about the nothings that occupy their day. Sooo.....the waitress and I continue talking about topics of the day, Ebola/what are the Yankees going to do post Jeter/what do I do for a living/how did I develop such a pleasant manner of speech...yadda yadda yadda. I used the word sonorous to describe my voice and speech pattern and that got a response from the girls. Kept #1: Pardon me...what was that word? (in a Little Ferry nasal voice, fine facial bones of Eastern European extract several generations back) Me: which one? Kept#1: snoring? Me: oh! sonorous...means deep or imposing. Kept#2: not snoring? (brunette, 20 years past her teen gorgeousness, but still very handsome, until she spoke...voice like nails on a blackboard) Me: (trying not to wince) ha..no maam. Not snoring. Kept#3: You talk so good. Where are you from? (Copper Penny dye job. Expensive. Gaudy jewelry, gigantic pieces of ice all over the place, eating a salad but secretly wants the tray of baklava, nicely turned ankles) Me: Lodi. but Ive travelled much and am educated. Kept#1: I can see that. I love the way you talk. Me: Im a cunning linguist. Eyes wide open on all four. They look at each other in shock, and finally settle down in various states of femininity. Kept#1: A what? (obviously the ring leader, she leaned forward exposing an impressive decolletage from her now lower zipped sweat top) Me: I talks good. (I do the shoulder thing with the sigh) Kept#2: I bet thats not all. (others cluck in agreement.) Me: (collecting my jacket, wallet, and what not...I decided it was tactically prudent to beat feet) Ladies...enjoy your lunch. My waitress walks me to the cashier where I pay, as they watch me walk.. Waitress: They would have eaten you alive...cunning linguist...hahahaha Me: No doubt. I havent the time nor inclination for such dalliances, for now I must away away. Waitress: Youre gay? Me: (I do the shoulder thing with the sigh)...oh so pretty and witty too. Have a good one. sigh....
Posted on: Wed, 29 Oct 2014 19:24:24 +0000
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