If you’re a mom, especially the wife of a husband that travels A LOT or works long hours, your life is often controlled by the needs of your children, especially when they are toddlers. The mandatory cut-off time for getting a toddler home for a nap – as well as the need to get them to bed for the night before the over tired hyper drive kicks in – can cripple your day. Being isolated in your home for a few hours or days is usually better than dealing with a public meltdown from an overtired or a “going through THAT phase” toddler, so sometimes the trade-off is worth it. Still, sometimes raising a toddler is the worst! In fact, it’s crazy how many aspects of parenting toddlers are reminiscent of prison. Complete with a sadistic little warden(s) who harbor the Napoleon complex. How you might ask could raising such gorgeous little angels be so? Ha! Lets look at the following: ~ You can’t do anything without constant supervision, yes I mean your kids supervising you – peeing, showering, changing, cooking, cleaning, sleeping, eating … ~ Every morning begins with someone screaming at you to wake up. My children always want a “drinkie” and not just any beverage but chocolate milk, the kind I have to mix. ~You’re always terrified something bad will happen when you’re in the shower, taking the trash out, grabbing the mail, putting laundry away – shall I go on? ~ You’re always terrified someone is going to crawl into your bed in the middle of the night; I usually get both kids by 4AM and the California King isn’t cutting it. ~ Meal time is filled with tension and often thrown away. ~ Everything you do is on your toddlers schedule, no matter how much pre-planning you do. ~Someone’s always watching you go to the bathroom, doesn’t matter which number. ~ You never get to choose the movie or TV channel and then it’s hard to hear it over all the hooting and hollering. ~ You’re always terrified someone is going to get hurt, tackled, loose any eye or attack you with some kind of makeshift weapon ~ Contraband – like chocolate, TV shows with violence or ghosts and mommy’s favorite snacks – must be smuggled in and consumed in secret ~ Conjugal visits are hard to come by, require intense scheduling, and are often interrupted The only peace the parent of a toddler gets that isn’t similar to Prison: Being placed in solitary confinement is a reward, not a punishment. The biggest similarity between prison and parenting? Both can be a life sentence. And parole isn’t for 18 years ☺
Posted on: Sun, 30 Mar 2014 02:52:58 +0000
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