Im 20 years old, and I suffer from depression/anxiety. My depression originated 12 years ago when I lost my grandma. I found my grandma having a heart attack in the middle of the night, I found her one month before my 8th birthday. I was the one who woke my grandpa up and I was the only one not allowed in the hospital room, they said I wasnt old enough to be in the room with her. I didnt get to say goodbye and my grandma was the one person I was closest to. When I talked to doctors about my depression and how I acted after her loss they tell me I didnt mourn, that I went from denial to depression rather than mourning her and moving on sort thing. I find that because of my depression I tend to be extremely emotional and often times I feel like breaking down. When I feel like breaking down completely I find what helps me most is turning on music, grabbing some paper and pencils or paper and paint and drawing/painting. I was in college for a short time towards the end of last year and beginning of this year. I was struggling with school work, being homeless, battling depression (I wasnt taking any medication for it at the time and it was sky rocketing out of control) I was in class one day and I felt ready to just break down, I felt ready to cry, scream, and run off so I pulled out a folder that had some printer paper and I grabbed a pencil. I had a picture of a rose in the folder because I eventually wanted to trace it, instead of tracing it though I looked at the image and free hand drew it in one week time period during free time at school and during class when I felt ready to just break. A few months back I felt the need to break down so I started to paint, I would trace pictures and then paint them and I even free hand drew then painted one without any pictures at all I just started drawing what came to mind. I guess what my point is its okay to let your emotions out and to talk to people about what is wrong. If youre like me I find expressing my emotions to people and talking to people to be a challenge so I turn to drawing and painting, writing poems, taking photographs and listening to music. So if youre having a hard time and feel like breaking down please remember its okay to talk to someone and its okay to feel upset just find a hobby or method that is safe and healthy that helps you cope and try talking to someone because talking to someone really does help, Im finding that out myself. Ive started to open up and talk to people this past year and Ive seen a major change, I feel more relieved and not so helpless when I talk to people, especially if I talk to someone whose gone through something similar. Anyways, the point is to find healthy and safe ways to cope with everyday struggles and to try talking to someone.
Posted on: Sun, 28 Sep 2014 07:43:29 +0000
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