Im a bit feverish. I dont ask for much. I live a more or less monastic life - and I like it that way. But today, I wanted chicken... Had to go to the bank, and had decided that afterwords I would stop by that predominantly yellow building that sells chicken. Bojangles. Never been there in my life, but I feel unwell, and dont want to cook when I get home. So, Bojangles. Only one car ahead of me in the drive-thru. Excellento. I notice its a large car with an even larger woman inside. Cool. Hope shes having a great day, AND enjoys her chicken - as I will no doubt enjoy mine. Well and good. She orders for about five solid minutes. I order the 3-piece dinner (with mashed potatoes and gravy. ) $7 something. Now to proceed to the checkout window. Large car larger woman still in front of me. Ravels Pavanne for a Dead Princess playing on the radio. I am at peace. The girl hands what can only be described as a cooler sized box out the window to larger woman. I had no idea they made take out boxes that size, but the damned thing says BOJANGLES on the side, so I guess they damned do. Wow. Then come the bags, and the equivalent of a water towers full of SWEET TEA. Another wow. When the large car larger woman finally creaks away I pull up to the window. Cash in hand. Im sorry, the woman ahead of you got all the chicken. All the chicken. All the chicken? All you sell is chicken. I see pictures of chicken on the walls inside. I SMELL chicken. All the chicken. Out of chicken. OK. Cut my losses. Whats left on the way home? Wendys. F-ing Wendys. Even the plants around the building are greasy. Asian Chicken SANDWICH. Yeah, whatever. But hark... in front of me... a large car, with a larger woman. Same woman from BOJANGLES. Bags are flying from Wendys window to hers. How is this possible. Bags that size arent even metephysically possible. Large car groans away. But a Miracle - I get my sandwich. The Lord loves me. How does a chicken establishment run OUT OF CHICKEN? Dunno. I intend to write the national office tonight and ask them. Could be its the piss rat town the franchise is located in: Taylorsville. Their municipal crest is a brother & sister copulating (beneath an oak leaf banner, natch). OK, time to collapse. P.S. This post is rated PG-13.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 21:15:39 +0000
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