Im a happily married man and I just spent 8 bucks on a box of cat litter. Just to be clear, this is the same 8 bucks that will purchase dinner-to-go at Bubba-Ques, the same 8 bucks that will buy a new set of guitar strings and the same 8 bucks that will purchase a brand new package of mens underwear. Now, I know what youre thinking, why would a cat, that for the last 16 years of her life, having been an indoor/outdoor cat, need a litter box? After all, said cat has demonstrated successfully over the years that she can can go to the door and meow to let you know she wants to go outside. Conversely, when said cat wants to come inside she has the wherewithal to find the door and meow in indication of her desire to come inside. She has also been known to reach up and actually turn the doorknob with her paws letting herself inside the house. The reason why its hard for you to understand why the McFarlands must have this litter box (thus litter, thus an underfunded underwear account) is because you are not aware that my lovely wife has made the decision that the cat should have its pollyanna existence enhanced by the loving option of pooping inside or (shudder to think) pooping outside. An option, that I might add was not afforded to our dog Skippy (God rest his soul). So why would I spend 8 bucks on cat litter (not to mention the horror of litter box management) with such a strong logical argument to do away with the litter box all together? Well, the answer lies in the secret to a happy marriage. What Im about to tell you next is golden advice that comes after almost 20 years of marriage and many years experience counseling troubled relationships. Some days, the secret to being a happily married man is no more complicated than spending $8 on a box of cat litter. How is that, you may ask. Well, because my wife (just like yours) is crazy, and in order to let her know I love her, I have to step into her craziness and into what she loves and find a way to participate with her there. I want to always be the guy who makes it happen for my wife. Today, making it happen, unfortunately involves this spoiled and entitled ball of fur. Other days, it involves much more exciting and interesting levels of crazy. Im so looking forward to my wifes return from Finland (as is cat princess). When she gets home she will find I have yet again made it happen. The cat will be alive, the cat will have been fed regular (truthfully more regular than I), and the house will smell fresh and minty clean despite the fact this cat has done everything in her power to completely and utterly defile this home. I am a happily married man who loves his wife like crazy and the proof of that fact is the continued and lavish existence of Sidney, the Furry Princess of McFarland Land. Love you babe! Sidney and I are counting down the days.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 20:22:13 +0000