Im beginning to wonder if my test levels are low? My drive that I once had was insane!! I had a unsatisfiable hunger at one time!! 3-4 years ago I was just always excited to train!! I have gradually gotten stronger over the past year, but I never feel excited like I used to!! Its like a war raging inside of me that was never there before just to keep pushing vs just do just enough to stay in shape!! I train out of habit and OCD now vs. Joy!! When I just dont feel like going to train I hear Coach Joness voice saying Stay hard till you Die and dont be like Kim his ex wife! I know I do a lot of volume have been since I was 13 and will be 36 soon! Its like my desires are changing or is that just part of the aging process? I have always been self driven and I realize that I dont have a training partner and thats no excuse. I realize Im a Lonewolf not by choice, because others I believe have these same emotions over time and instead of I guess fighting through like I have been for many years they just bail on me!! I realize my a$$ is crazy and a lot of what I do dont make sense, but something deep inside me keeps pushing me even when my mind and body is saying just take it easy!! The reason Im writing this because many believe this lifestyle is just a walk in the park, but its not I fight against being human every day to try to achieve a goal!!
Posted on: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 03:19:29 +0000
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