Im finally outraged enough to dig out the computer and throw my two cents into the ring. I dont understand why our education system teaches things math that many of us never use again, literature that many never discuss again, art that many of us never do again after school, but we dont teach people how to manage their emotions and mental heath, how to get a job, how to be a good employee, how to file taxes, how to look for a place to live, how to set up utilities, how to buy a car and shop for car insurance, how to have good communication skills and what to look for in a mate, how to judge character (not necessarily religion oriented, just simple things like what is the characteristics of a people user, or a narcissist vs a person who is genuine and open minded and a team player), how to get a doctor, how to manage money - from simple budgeting to retirement planning to emergency funds), and finally parenting skills - what have we learned in the last 2 decades about parenting and how do we really teach our children skills and share knowledge with each other. WHY ARENT THESE REQUIRED FOR PASSING HIGH SCHOOL? These are the life skills that every person needs! In light of all of this, I want to state my thoughts on the whole Adrian Peterson situation. I think as a society, we all agree that abuse is wrong. People want to argue about what he did and either label it as abuse, or not abuse (as if putting a label on it helps the situation somehow). Then, and this is the part I have a really hard time with, people want it to be black and white. His actions were either right or wrong, therefore the response should either be pretend nothing happened (because what he did was ok) or crucify him, throw him off the team, ban him from everything, etc. I read his statement and I take away from his statement that he has used the failure of this situation as feedback for doing life different. He states that he has since learned how to deal with similar situations in a different way. I stated the following on another post about this issue: Im not willing to crucify a father who made a mistake and appears to have sought help and learned from this. I would rather see there be support for AP in teaching better parenting skills. So many people have children and are ill equipped to parent them. I worked a couple years with kids in rehab that were dual diagnosis mental health and chemical dependency patients and you have kids hitting you, swearing at you, spitting at you and you have to learn to control your emotions and not be personally offended. In a way, the same is true of parenting, but no one teaches managing emotions and mental health. I think if we want to erase this sort of behavior, we need to teach people life skills that no one is teaching. You shouldnt have to go to a psychologist to be taught how to diffuse a situation with your child and interrupt their misbehavior. But the truth of our society is that your parenting skills are only as good as what you received as a kid and if it was abusive or dysfunctional, it is bound to be repeated. I would love to see the organization or even the punishment to include family therapy with AP and the child to process through what happened, parenting classes, and perhaps volunteering and training with behaviorally challenged kids to learn more skills. You cannot destroy a mans life and career and expect the cycle to stop. There must be support and people to come alongside and support him as a parent (which DOES NOT MEAN you have to agree with what happened). You cannot throw the baby out with the bathwater and expect to still have a family, and thats what people are suggesting with AP. It doesnt have to be hang him out to dry or pretend it didnt happen. This dichotomy isnt the only option. As I wrote this, I heard on the radio that they have reversed their decision and thrown him of the team and I think its a damn shame. As an organization, they could have used their influence to come alongside and be an example of change, and instead they have continued the abuse by shaming this man for a bad decision instead of using this to teach him and millions of others better parenting skills. Hell, they could have made a reality tv show about parenting skills to teach the millions that still think beating your kids is an acceptable solution for discipline. When will we learn that beating people down does not promote change? Our entire system of education needs to change. Also, yet another reason why I plan to homeschool.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 14:31:28 +0000
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