Im going to do something I rarely do on Facebook. Im going to talk about something both controversial and very personal to me. Warning, this post will be long and it will contain detail that some may consider graphic. so read at your own risk. A number of people have posted about the death of Brittany Maynard, the woman who chose to end her life rather than die the awful death that her brain tumor would eventually lead to. A number of the comments have been negative, calling her a coward or making her out to be an awful person. Let me take a minute to tell you about terminal cancer. Cancer most time is a terrible way to die. It steals your life, it steals, your body, then it steals your mind and your identity. A bit over 10 years ago my mother died of bone cancer. She fought the good fight. As a matter of fact she beat the odds. she lived three years when they gave her a year, maybe more. The last months of her life were spent in a hospital bed, thankfully at home. But, in terrible pain and agony. Every day she begged to die. Every day she begged me to help her. I wish that I had the guts and the means to do just that. You see, cancer took over her body. She started the journey at 250 pounds. when they weighed her while preparing her body for the crematorium she weighed 50 pounds. Cancer took over her body. first it ate her bones, then it ate her organs, then her skin and when it had nothing left to feed on it ate the food she tried so desperately to keep down. Cancer doesnt just stay where it starts it goes all through a body. My mother had bed wounds on her tail bone and her hips. Green stuff oozed out of these wounds. the one on her tailbone was so deep you could see her tailbone. Those wounds had to be cleaned every day. Every day she screamed in agony while we did that. By the time she died she had wounds up her spine and on her shoulder blades. These were not from not turning her. they were because her skin was so frail. Imagine if you will having to have your daughter or complete stranger change your diapers and give you baths or in a couple cases literally pull feces out from your rectum because you cant physically push it out. Cancer steals your dignity. My mother was a very independant woman. she often worked more than one job to take care of us kids. She did all her own house repairs and took care of those around her. So, taking away even a bit of that independance was awful for her. Cancer steals your dignity. Eventually, her body started to shut down. She could no longer move unassisted. Her body began to be riddled with infection. I dont know if you know this, but, infection can affect your brain. My mother literally went mad at times. sometimes she didnt know who we were, other times she was paranoid that we were trying to kill her. I will admit that at times I fell into the trap of treating my mother more like a number. Talking of her in just statistics and symptoms instead of as a human being. But, perhaps that was just easier for me to deal with. But, thats what cancer is at the end. it is numbers, statistics, it is what is happening to the person and not about who they are. Sure they made my mother as comfortable as they could. But at the end that was not comfortable at all. The morphine fed to her subcutaneously requires fat in order to transfer to the system and in order to even be put in. In the end she had no fat on her body. As a matter of fact they were worried that she wouldnt be able to have it anymore and she couldnt swallow at all, let alone pills. Now if assisted suicide (I hate that term) would I have been able to be brave enough to help my mother die? I dont know. But I certainly hope so. You see, we put animals to sleep when it becomes to difficult for them to live. My mother often watched animal planet and pointed this fact out. They will put a turtle to sleep. but they wont let me die. Why cant we allow people to die with a bit of dignity and grace? Is it so evil to not want to become cancer? To want to leave a legacy of humanity behind? Also, if you have gotten this far you need to know that I am not writing this for sympathy. please do not leave comments such as sorry for your loss or for what you went through. I am writing this to raise awareness of what exactly can happen and often does. I am writing this in honor of my mother, a life well lived. cnn/2014/11/02/health/oregon-brittany-maynard/
Posted on: Wed, 05 Nov 2014 18:38:59 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015