Im going to try to keep this short but Im having a bit of a meltdown on this beautiful spring day on Cape Cod. I was diagnosed with PUS otherwise known as malignant fibrous histiocytoma in Feb. I had an excisional biopsy (apparently a no-no with this type of tumor) and just completed 5 weeks of neoadjunctive pre-op radiation. Im in the spin cycle of done with radiation (fatigue, brain-fog and other side effects) while I wait for radical excision on 5/13/14. The lump that was removed was just the visible portion of the tumor, there is still a moderately large amount of tumor along the surface of the underlying muscle. I see my Team (at Mass General) on next Thursday after repeat chest CT and arm MRI, for discussion of my surgical procedure. I just viewed the YouTube video posted below today and did a search for members with this type of upper extremity mass because I AM TERRIFIED of amputation. It just hit me, I may lose my arm. Ive been focused on limb-salvage surgery and very upbeat about a positive outcome. Im a nurse (although NO onc experience) and Ive dealt with this diagnosis from a very clinical, non-emotional perspective up until this point. I live alone, my husband committed suicide 2 years ago tomorrow. My dogs (I do Newfie Rescue) are pretty good at keeping me living in the moment. I feel like Ive got a kick in the gut. Is this a normal (maybe a bit delayed) response?
Posted on: Sat, 03 May 2014 17:13:45 +0000
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