Im gonna get my rant out of the way so I can smile & enjoy the day. Im not going to be so mean as to mention names or tag anyone but if this makes you feel guilty or question if its about you. It probably is. -- The last 3 months of 2014 have to have been the worse Ive had since my dad passed. 12 weeks of dealing with near death every day, Not knowing what the next hour would hold. Then just as things got ok, my mom passes away suddenly. So I go from almost dealing with death, to actually dealing with. Talk about an emotional time. They say you will find out a persons true colors & who is really there for you when you are at your weakest time. Well, let me tell you what I learned then & even more importantly in the months since. --Jackies Brain Injury: A woman who most of Saline Co knew suffered a freak life changing almost fatal accident. 12 weeks of pure misery on my family. 12 weeks of our life being turned up side down. Not only do we worry about what the next hour brings, are we making funeral arrangements, but how are we paying for this, how we getting back forth daily to Evansville, we gotta get the house ready & make the nec changes for it to be safe for her if she comes home. Mind games, temper tantrums from other family members. 2 Benefits to help out with expenses. Both total failures & not what I would have expected for a woman who has helped so many people & knew everyone. Where was the give back pay it forward attitude everyone is always talking about? She always gave. She always helped. As do I. Is this really even happening? Did a freak accident really cause this much hurt, pain & suffering? -- Moms Funeral: I sat there trying to contain my tears & my anger. For 10 days my sister & I had to pretty much beg to get help to pay for 1/3 of her service cost. You would have thought it wouldnt be so hard considering. Well lets just say it was. If that wasnt bad enough, I had to sit there & look at the one & only thing of flowers sent (by my sister & I). Where was the love & respect for her at? Would it have been different if dad was alive? Maybe instead of flowers they paid on her service? Where are the tears, the hugs of support? The Im sorry for your loss if you need anything Im here?? Where was the ones who said they would always be there? My friends & those I spoke to daily? This was not how it should be. But It opened my eyes up. **** Days/Months since: They say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Well this girl here is stronger than ever. I have gained a whole new perspective on life, relationships, family & friendships. People are so not who they say they are & portray themselves to be in your life. Its a sad but refreshing moment when you realize it. Ive sat back & watched the actions of some people (and the lack of so to speak). I pay more attention to what is done & less to what is said. I still believe that you do unto others as you would have done unto you & I will continue to do so cause two wrongs dont make a right. But....... and thats a big but..... to those part time, fake as can be, always say but never do, only worry about themselves or what kind of drama & info they can get, miserable with their life, selfish friends/family, THANK YOU so much. You have showed me how much time I wasted trying to maintain relationships with your type of people. I will pray for you cause I really hope that when the time comes for you to have to deal with these kind of things, your karma doesnt come back on you. Oh & you know that girl who was always there for you, who listened when you need to gripe, was your shoulder to cry on when you where down, who was the one who bent over backwards to help you when you needed help & nobody else would, who would give to you if you ever needed? Well her time is now being spent with people who appreciate it & your rights to her life have been revoked. ...... The positive out of all of this is that I really got to see the true colors of people close to me & gained some respect for some people who I never would have expected to be so caring or to be there for me. I also got my relationship back with my sister (although its not perfect). I want to say thank you so much to those who was there for me, who really did have my back & who helped me at my weakest time. To those who helped with the benefit (by donation or helping out) & those who helped us be able to have moms funeral I am forever in your debt. I dont think I can ever repay you for the kind words, time spent & effort in my life you put in when you didnt have to. (you know who you all are) ..... This isnt a bitter, I was wronged, pitty party me, vindictive post. This is an Im finally strong enough to say how I feel so I can move forward in my life post. Spring Cleaning in my life has begun :)
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 17:00:48 +0000
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