Im having a really hard time learning that Robin Williams was in the early stages of Parkinsons. My emotions are all scrambled. First off this to me he was an icon. Through out my life, through-out his acting he was a friend, a family member even. So so many times we spent together, me in front of that screen and him making me laugh with every minute. Forgetting the outside world with all its problems and frustrations. There are very few actors/actress that have made me feel like that. He was one of the top. I was already grieving this great idol when today I read he was in the early stages of parkinsons as well. This made me really angry and really sad. My mother had parkinsons. I myself have it and also Dystonia as well. For over 8 years now. The beginning years I did all the tests, took all the meds and each and every day of it was a nightmare from the side effects. In the end all I thought of was suicide and the doctors didnt seem to care. Neither illness is curable and parkinsons is what they call progressive. Year after year it gets worse. The medications are only a mean to make your life more bearable. But for me the side effects made things even worse. I knew if I didnt change my life the meds would give me no choice but to. The past 3 years I have handled it all without the use of conventional meds. I use herbs, natural made oils, and other natural methods. I still have a lot of pain. I still get very depressed. I still think about suicide sometimes. I wont lie and say I dont. I am still year after year going to get worse. There will come a day when Ill be a zombie again on the meds. What Im doing now wont work forever. There will come a day when those I love are going to have to care for my every need. These are just realities that cannot be denied. And they are not easy realities to deal with from day to day either. Not for me having watched it kill my mother or knowing myself, personally what this disease does to you after all these years. Let alone for someone who was in the early stages and knew nothing of what to expect. Even playing Patch Adams couldnt prepare him for dealing with that. Anyone with an illness like mine is lying if they tell you suicide is not something that they have thought about at one time or any other. Having something like this depression is one of the hardest thing there is to deal with. The mind asks those questions we all dont want anyone else to know we are thinking. I thank god I have the friends and family that I have around me not to have to deal with that. They know when Im getting that low and they are always here to hold me up when they see the signs. I understand in one retrospect why. And I have no right to judge anyone, so please dont take this wrong. On the other hand I think he had such a beautiful family, monetary means for the best of whatever he needed. We sit here struggling from week to week to eat and pay the bills. He had so much positive going for him. He could of helped so many others out there know they could fight through it. But hes not the only one who needs it. When we first moved here I read a newspaper article, the man wasnt famous, I did not personally know him. He was an older man that had just been diagnosed with parkinsons and he drove his car into another to kill himself. We live in a small part of Missouri and there is no local support groups here for either Young onset or Parkinsons. This guy was totally alone. At his age and where we are I doubt he had internet or anyone to even talk to about what he was going through. There are many many people out there dealing with illness each and every day. Dealing with those thoughts that go through your head when faced with an incurable illness. If you see the signs STOP. Say something. Anything! Let them know they are not alone and that through that moment is dark, light is always around the corner. We are all stronger than we think we are. But together we are invincible.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 22:45:41 +0000
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