Im in the shower and I spy a spider up above me on the wall. He falls! I jump!!! I land with my feet as far apart as I can get them! Im scanning the tub, i cant find him!! im scanning some more, only to realize, that he saved his fall on the edge of the shower and he is crawling back up the wall! I shampoo fast! I wash and rinse even faster! Dripping wet I grab my towel, throw it around me and i bolt for the kitchen to grab the fly spatter! I sliiiide across the tile with my wet feet! I save my fall! I run back to the bathroom armed and ready to kill! I get there and he is wedged in the corner where the walls meet! I think shit! If I jump and hit him hes going to fall on me. I bolt back to the kitchen! I retrieve the step ladder! I race back!! He hasnt moved! Hes still stuck in that corner tighter than a gnats booty! I climb the step ladder and get up onto the counter! I poke him with the edge of the spatter trying to coax him out of the corner! He jets outta there! I whack! I miss! Damnit!!! I whack again! He runs behind the medicine cabinet! I turn the spatter sideways and run it down the wall behind the cabinet! I knock him down! Crap! Hes on the counter top! Where I am!!! Forget the step ladder! I jump about 3 feet down creating a horrible thunder like sound all through the house! Hes fast! But Im faster!! I grab a wash cloth! Bam bam bam and I get him! Yesssss! Success! I squished his green guts out! Muwahahah!!! My hearts pounding! My head his pounding!!! My feet hurt from landing so hard! My back hurts from spasms sustained by fear! And my hero....the man who would normally save me from all evil....well, hes sleeping. Precious as can be....fully unaware of all that just went down... Its okay babe, I got this..... ;) Maybe not as gracefully as you would have, but I took care of it.
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 03:55:04 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015