Im never going to treat my kids the way my parents have treated me.. Im going to be a good father unlike mine Im going to make an effort to see him achieve his goals and be a good person Im going to teach him right from wrong without being to strict, Im going to treat all of my kids equally.. because I know how hard it is being the middle child and never feeling good enough being In the shadow of an older brothers greatness and in the foreground of my little sisters improvements and life.. I will tell my kids I love them every day and I will talk to them and understand their problems.. honestly sometimes my parents make me feel like I have no one and that I deserve to just die.. because I think if my parents dont care then who else will but I realize that they will never understand no matter how many times I try and say that all I want Is to matter.. I cant remember the last time I heard the words I love you utter from my fathers mouth and I cant remember the last time I could look at my moms eyes and truly believe that she wasnt just saying it but she meant it with all her heart.. they will never understand how hard I try to make them proud or feel any kind of accomplishment from Me.. but they never do.. because nothing I do can or will be as great as what my brother Has done.. thats why Im going to be a great parent because honestly when youre 16 and you feel so alone in the world that you feel taking another breath will collapse your lungs from all of the stress and pressure youve put on yourself to just be accepted by the only 2 people in the world that are supposed to accept you naturally.. is not a good feeling.. I hope you read this mom and I hope you realize that although you didnt physically lose your son you may well have ... and dad you lost me as your son a long time ago..
Posted on: Tue, 25 Mar 2014 02:53:42 +0000
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