Im not a tradtitional-religious person. But its hard not to believe in God when I was born into the family I was and then a man was brought into my life and God gave us the family we created together. It amazes me and I cant chalk that up to chaos or randomness. Or at least I wont. Yesterday was a hard day. I said goodbye to my Aunt Florence (as I got older I realized she was in fact my cousin, you know how Italian families can be haha). Its hard not to be mad at God for taking one of my familys rays of sunshine. I didnt just love Florence because she was my family...I liked her. I loved making her laugh (she had such a funny laugh that was identical to her sisters so hearing them laugh together just made me laugh harder...a vicious cycle all of us laughing at each other laughing...it could go on for a while!). These past few years that she has been battling cancer she really made it a point to show up at every girls night out and made sure to tell me how proud she was of me, how she remembered when I was born and how kind of a heart she knew I had. She wanted to make sure that I knew that she saw me. She and I (along with a few other cousins and aunts in my family) are part of the tender heart club. We always believe in the best in people, we always give people the benefit of the doubt, we always just keep loving. We dont always get what we give, and thats not fair but its life. It hurts deeply, we dont get over it easy...but we catch each other when we fall. Florence was a great catcher. She caught her daughter, she caught her son, she caught her sister, her neices, her grandchildren. I dont know how I can be mad at God when he gave us such a beautiful gift for so long. Ill miss her more than she would ever know, more than I even knew I would. And I loved her deeply. Well always save a seat for you at girls night, Flo. I want to thank Jenni Chasteen for stepping in yesterday and helping to watch my kids. When I came home I just crashed and, for the first time in a long, long time a friend caught me. She listened, she loved and cared for my kids, and gave me a beautiful basket of sunshine (perfect, right?) to lift my spirits because she knew how hard that day was going to be for me. Come to think of it, Jenni is a lot like Florence, always giving, always loving. So, God makes up for things...when one door closes, right? Heres a hashtag because they make me happy: #justkeeploving
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 12:11:33 +0000
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