Im re-posting this, because I will post a new one, to my daughter, later this week: A letter to my son… While I’m writing this today, it’s more for me than for you. I don’t expect you to see it for eight or ten years (if then), and I’m not sure it will resonate until many years after that. I’m writing today because I need it today. Perhaps one day, you will need it too. I am too harsh. Sometimes I am cold, short and unyielding. I am often unwilling to listen and quick to criticize. I am too lenient. I sometimes say, “yes” out of convenience. Instead of engaging and doing what is hard, I acquiesce as a matter of course, in lieu of looking up from my work or whatever else is occupying my time. I let you do, so I don’t have to. I am too absent. I’m tugged in many directions, and quite often I succumb to the pull away from you. I work, I train, I consult, I coddle, I travel…just not for or with you. I am too present. I hover. At times, I watch your every move and don’t give you space to breathe and grow. I am too logical. I forget you’re a kid. I want you to behave as if you have the benefit of decades of experiences and respond in kind. I don’t make allowances for “a kid being a kid”, and what I see as lame excuses are more likely rational reasons. I am too illogical. I change my mind on a whim. I promise and don’t deliver. I make rules and change them. I make decisions and dole out punishment without the benefit of context. I am too selfish. I spend a lot of time on my work. I spend a lot of time on my body. I am almost never without my phone. I focus on my image, as it relates to my job. I am too altruistic. I allow others to monopolize my time. I choose to counsel others and listen to their woes, while ignoring you and yours. I drive out of my way to lend an ear or a hand or a dollar, while denying you the same. I am trying my best. My best may change from day to day or even minute to minute. I am always well intentioned, if often misguided. I have no blueprint to follow or manual to read. I’m writing them as I go, and the drafts are extremely rough. I am not doing anything that hasn’t been repeated countless times before, though to me, it’s all new. Truthfully, every day challenges me in new and usually uncomfortable ways. After all these years, I’m not ready for a job performance review, and I’m not so sure that I know what I’d change if I could do it again. What I DO KNOW is that I love you very much, and while I am nowhere near the dad I’d like to be or hoped I’d be, you are very much the son I hoped I’d have. Love you, Dad
Posted on: Mon, 05 Jan 2015 22:51:48 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015