Im realizing that my heart is poured out on these pages. Everything I know, everything I love about my job, every single experience that brought me to where I am in my career is poured out on these pages.....and its like sending my child out into the world.....I feel terrified, but confident in my job .......if that makes sense. I never realized how passionate I was about what I do. I have always believed that my job was only important to the little faces I shared moments of my life with. Shared moments. Moments that only we two have. Rocking a crying child to sleep, sharing an ah-ha moment, seeing potential where no one else did, and trusting a child to succeed...so much so that they believed it themself. I never believed I was doing any of this for personal gain. Every step of the way I trusted that God was bringing me to a place I was needed, and that it would be revealed to me in His time. You cannot know the sense of terror that dwells with the sense of accomplishment that I feel at this very moment in time. For the duration of my twenties I was pinned down, put down, kept from really flying......I let people....no monsters......do that to me. But the arrival of Josh Wells, Katie Stiffler, Cathy McBride, and of course my incredible mom Dee Parish Conn at just the right time in my life have shaped the last 6yrs of my life so dramatically that I feel more comfortable in my skin that I have ever in my life. I owe so much of my ability to love myself to my husband, who has accepted all my crazy from day one! And now, it feels like a culmination of sorts. My best friend in the whole world is leaving in a week, and while I am absolutely beside myself (selfishly)..I am so excited and happy for her. Before you go Miss Katie, you have to know what you did in my life, and how you saved me. You were my saving grace when I needed one. I am going to miss you like crazy and my heart hurts for the impending seperation!! I LOVE YOU!!! I love you like a sister. Thank you for being my one true friend. Moms........THANK YOU FOR CHALLENGING ME! Josh, thank you for lifting me up. Katie brought out from the dark, your pushed me into the light. I have nothing without you. So in saying all this........my POINT is.......I am feeling so very grateful and appreciative of my life experiences and education and support system right now. The last seven years have been worth all the suffering I endured through my twenties. This task set before me, is more than just words on paper........its more than just a good idea.......its twenty years of my life. I devoted myself to my career nearly two decades ago, and through EVERYTHING else in my life,....good or bad, I could always take shelter in that. I could find love and acceptance in the eyes and hearts of the children I taught and cared for. So there it all is.
Posted on: Fri, 01 Aug 2014 01:50:39 +0000
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