Im really dont endorse this kinda posting on facebook but let me explain. Depression is a very difficult thing to comprehend. I have carried it for 20 years I may as well have wrote the book. My motivation and heart has deteriorated last few weeks and for so long Ive had too much of one and not enough of the other. Its complicated. I struggle with my thoughts almost everyday and its exhausting. Depression feeds off negative thinking and by its definition anger turned inwards. Anger that has manifested from looking in the mirror and despising my own reflection a hollow empty feeling of zero self worth that I can only suppress when I work out, that of which I dont even do lately due to no motivation. A lot of entertainers suffer from depression, this is not a coincidence I assure you. We perform because its what makes us feel alive, feel happy, feel something! I feel empty a lot of the time and my escape is the gym because there I feel a sense of personal achievement. Im a massive underachiever and failure in my eyes and I hide behind the magician because hes untouchable hes a winner. A Somebody. I love to make people laugh and I thrive on performing its what i do best,probably the only thing Im proud of in this life. This is just a glimpse into what it can be like living with depression. Sometimes its hard to love yourself when you despise your own reflection. Eat healthy. Exercise regularly. Get enough sleep and drink lots of water. Healthy body is a healthy mind, however this is only part of the solution. Courage to overcome the hurt of missed opportunities and the acceptance of poor choices is the way to get out of your own depression, which is really your own anger at yourself. How you overcome your depression is up to you as everyone is different. All I know is that its always calm after the storm.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 21:12:12 +0000
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