Im sick of chasing. If you want me, you know where I am or how to find me. If you dont, its already obvious -- now can I just let it go and quit trying to make it into something you never wanted it to be? Blood or water...its all liquid and distinctions dont matter to me anymore. Its all a title anyway, right? What is family except DNA and expectations? What are friends but choices? So either way, can we all stop pretending, cut the crap, and just call a spade a spade?? But Im done chasing. If I have to chase, then it obviously isnt a two-way street, so I will wave good-bye to your back as you leave. Gives me more quiet time to work things out and get even more awesome so that someday I will have value to add to the world and then the people who are meant to be will actually care. And cut the excuses. Youre soooo busy that you cant even acknowledge my existence, yet youre on FB 10 times a day forwarding links and posting lunch updates and playing FB games? I track you down and post or send an email, text, or call that Ive genuinely been thinking about you and praying for you, but I get the Been busy. Touch base later. but later never comes? Hints, hints, hints, eh? So lets just cut the crap, show enough respect to be honest, and part ways on as good of terms as were able to. *Or* use this as a stepping stone to truly reconnecting more than once a year and more than in passing... I havent been reaching out much because my hand gets slapped away (or ignored) most of the time. Cant really make my presence known if everybody is too busy trying pretending that I dont exist. Cant communicate if everybody is ignoring me. I can care all I want. I can pray for you all I want. That probably will not change. But its all one-sided. Im just sick of trying my part to make it a two-way street but getting shut down before I can barely begin. Before people rush to defend themselves, this isnt pointed just at one or two people. This is to almost everybody - especially my family that might happen to see it. (Boy, I really am delusional, arent I??) Im really sick of this and if I need to completely isolate in order to get my internal work done and then re-enter Life, so be it. Growth is also a cutting away of that which is no longer productive or beneficial. It hurts, but it hurts a helluva lot less than pretending and stagnating, which Im really sick of doing. Peace... Love... and if needs be, good bye.
Posted on: Wed, 04 Dec 2013 20:01:36 +0000