Im sitting in my car at Walmart. I just finished my first Real Physical Therapy session.. its just like a year ago. I cant stop crying. I remember finishing that first Zumba class. I felt....so incredibly grateful...I cried in gratefulness ...probably that I didnt die right then and there. I feel the EXACT same way right now. Its not exactly Zumba. But I am pushed to HAVE to think about things I never thought about before. Like how to squeeze the correct glute with each step to not compensate. Like how to go up with the bad hip down with the good on any stair. It Just came Natural To ME Before. Now. I have to think. All the time. Thats not a bad thing. But I feel so triumphant. That the storm started...a perfect storm. I weighed 225 pounds in that First Zumba class. For 9 years I didnt move a lot. Bathroom and back. Few trips that set me back for days... When I got up and let God heal me from the heart out...I suddenly required movement. Muscles. Strong bones. This Avascular Necrosis is a weird thing. It hit hard and fast and viciously. Ive literally had months to think about those first 5 months of this time last year. The burn and ache and heating pads and ice packs while I worked on making my heart strong. Strong enough to deal with anything that may happen to my body as I worked on a new me. As I reflect...today I am as driven determined as goal setting as I was a year ago. The reason why has shifted....certainly...but it does not matter why you continue to improve you....as long as you do! He finally got my heart heart my head heart. All he ever wanted was my heart. My surrender. Make me teachable. Teach me patience. Make me grateful. I will never stop being grateful. Heres my heart, Lord...take all of me...
Posted on: Fri, 14 Nov 2014 17:42:43 +0000
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