Im sitting under a hair dryer right now waiting for my highlights to set in....and reflecting on the last few weeks. Carter has had some good days! No hospitalizations, no vomiting or ugly side effects. I should be feeling great....but instead Ive been pretty down lately. You dont have to be a mom of a child with cancer to see that there is so much hurt in this life. Ive gone through days recently where it seems that fear is getting the best of me. Not just fear of cancer, but fears of ISIS, war, death, tragedies, the safety of my children, the spiritual well-being of family and friends. I often talk about all the hope that our family has. Hope that the future will be bright and that God has great things planned for our family. But just this very weekend, a family unexpectedly lost their 3 year old son. A 13 year old boy left this world after a long battle with cancer, saying that his biggest fear wasnt death, but that others might blame God for not healing him while he was on earth. Christians died just for being Christians in other parts of the world. And l guarantee that these families had the same hopes that we have. I have the unique opportunity to talk with other moms who have a child with cancer very frequently. We could easily talk about the hopes we have and I could tell her that Im confident God will heal her child and use this for His glory. But what if God doesnt choose to heal that child here on this earth? What if His plan doesnt match up to what we want? What if He allows things to come in to our lives that are far beyond our comprehension to understand how He could use it as good? What happens to hope for families who have children who leave this earth way too early, at least from our viewpoint? Ive decided that Ive been placing way too much weight on my hope here on this earth. Im not saying that God doesnt want us to have hope for our future here on earth, but I think that I need to refocus 90% of my hope on eternity. If my hope is focused on this earth, Im going to continue to be heartbroken, devastated, confused. But once my focus can be on having hope that is found only through Christ and toward our eternity will Him, my viewpoint certainly changes. 1 Corinthians 15:19 If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. Please pray that I dont lose sight of these things, and that I can show others where my hope comes from. My heart is still heavy and I am still heartbroken for families who experienced great pain this week, but Im turning my focus to Christ and the eternity He has planned. Even if we live to be 100, our years here are like the blink of an eye... Please pray for me, but pray even more so for the heartbroken families who have lost loves ones to be able to focus their hope toward Heaven.
Posted on: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 19:48:27 +0000
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