Im so tired of not being a first choice. Im not saying that Im not cared for because I am, but it sucks knowing that most of the people that I put first dont feel like I deserve the same. Malakye, after knowing that I would put him before anything if he asked, has decided multiple times that someone else should be put before me, and left me feeling used, heartbroken, and depressed, yet willing to open my arms to him afterward with little to no consequence. Mary, after leaving me alone at my house, without a phone or computer, abandoned me and my dad (who was in Seattle and didnt get home till hours later) only to dote upon my brother with a new apartment (when she always said she couldnt even buy me small things because she didnt have money) with his own room, cable in his room, promises of his own laptop, and activities to compensate leaving my dad and I. There are other people who I feel like havent been there for me but these two people have gone above and beyond to make me feel like shit again and again. Thank god for Ariana and her family for taking me in these past couple of days so my dad can do his job, for Tim, who what been the best daddy possible even though he lost my mom also, for Mara and Cat and Alexis, and Carrol and Gabby and all of my friends that have let their pressense get me through everything thats come my way.
Posted on: Sun, 23 Nov 2014 20:27:52 +0000