Im sure that most of this is because mother nature decided to give me a surprise visit this morning (great timing right?) and all you girls know you can get emotional with it hahah so I was feeling rather bummed tonight. Started to think about everything my family has had to go through and deal with since I got sick and just felt so horrible about it. And felt like even though ive tried so many things and tried as hard as I could maybe there was something I shouldve done differently that wouldnt have led us here. one example. Maybe if I didnt just go by what the dr said and did research before I got botox maybe we couldve avoided this or something and I feel like a complete idiot for not doing that like i shouldve known better. But luckily I have the best mom in the world and she assured me that theres nothing I couldve done to stop fate from happening and that shed much rather have me with all the complications I do have than not have me at all and that she loves me etc which made me feel much much better. Just sometimes its hard not to feel responsible for your families stress when youre in a situation like mine. I wish the circumstances were different and even though were far from perfect Im so unbelievably thankful to have a family that loves me as i am and goes to the ends of the earth to try to help me and advocate for me and puts up with all of the shit thats been thrown their way. I honestly would be completely lost without them and feel so terrible for anyone with medical problems that doesnt have a good family support system. I love my family so much and am determined to one day repay them any way I can for everything theyve done for me over the years. And hey no matter what life throws at me and no matter how hard it gets i swear as long as I have my family, friends, and all of you guys I will never truly be defeated and will fight as hard and as long as i can. Much love to all
Posted on: Wed, 24 Sep 2014 05:37:19 +0000
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