Im the type of girl who constantly worries about how she looks. A lot of you may think otherwise but its true. At school I constantly think is my skirt too tight? Is my hair OK? Is my Make-up OK? The other week when I did my hair up in that ridiculous Bun, I did it to see how many people would judge me, who would point and laugh and just talk about me behind my back. 13 People did that to me. 13 people didnt have the guts to come up to me and say that to my face. That really hurts me, I can take the criticism as long as its too my face. I wanted to cry that day when I heard you talking about me. SAY IT TO MY GODDAMN FACE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! For crying out loud, Ive had people say to me, Gosh your getting fat arent you? YES. Yes I am getting fat. Im sorry Im not a size 6, or a size 8! Sorry that Im a size 10. I love food, and Im not going to stop eating just because Im gaining a few pounds. My face isnt skinny, my stomach is far from flat, and Im sorry I dont have a thigh gap, but Not everyone needs those things to be beautiful. I got Braces because I couldnt stand the bullying, the comments from my own Brother, and the nicknames of Squirrel and Chipmunk because I have a slight over bite, and my teeth werent perfectly in line. I WENT THROUGH HELL to get my teeth sorted out. Braces hurt so much, but I got them so the nicknames would stop. Ive gone through over a year of pain and suffering just so I could have a proper smile and not be so insecure about it, I dont have a broken smile anymore, but I dont have a proper fixed one half the time either. I have a Demon. It sounds stupid, but I do. The Demon is in my head, he criticizes me in every single way and makes me feel down all the time. The one thing my Demon hates is happiness. My Demon gets weaker every time I smile. Every time I feel truly happy it hates me for it. Im stuck with this Demon for the rest of my life, but as long as I have a smile on my face, it doesnt bother me. I dont let my Demon bring me down! I have a saying, that I use with quite a few people when their Demon is bringing them down.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Sep 2014 16:33:02 +0000
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