Im tired. .. Dempsey has had one very long drawn out meltdown. ... its lasted 3 days now. Hes needing sleep, but screams blue murder that hes not tired. Hes needing reassurance but wont let me help him or down right flatly declares that he cant. Hes needing justification on why things arent the way they were going to be Hes been over excited Hes been angry Hes been clingy Hes been emotional Im exhausted. ... because on top of managing his behaviour Im also trying to manage my pain and fatigue as well as my own self doubt. Im angry that Im one again unemployed yet Im frustrated when I try to fit in all the different appointments just to keep Dempsey and myself functioning... and now weve both been prescribed medicines that arent on the pubs. If it wasnt for the down time of preschool and family day care Id been further along the breakdown path. Im exhausted. ... Im broke.... Im overweight. ... Im fighting to stay some what healthy, Im barely holding on to staying functional And this weekend I have to go to Adelaide to spend money that could be buying Christmas presents to see my team of psychologist (2hrs $380) and psychiatrist (half hour $185) I have to travel home Monday night after a full day of emotional exhaustion (eta 11pm) so I can be at my sons graduation on tuesday at lunch time. .. oh and Ive been asked to bring a fruit platter. I havent had a date night with my husband in months. My mum works shifts and isnt always available to help. I dont want to burden friends as they have so much else on their plate and Dempsey is no picnic! My eldest son just plods along and takes on way more responsibility than a 10yr old should. My husband is exhausted and stressed both from his corporate job and the demands of our situation. Some nights I can barely function talking to him let alone helping with any of the family needs. Did you know he said good morning to me yesterday and when I saw him after his shower I said good morning because I really dont recall the conversation we had 15 minutes earlier. I dont tell my friends about all this as I really just want to escape my reality and Ive finally come to the realisation that this is my reality. Sorry for the vent. Thank you for your time and well wishes.
Posted on: Thu, 11 Dec 2014 09:25:40 +0000
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