Im truly grateful for all of you who liked my status this morning about helping at Northaven. And, thanks. Eric, for the invitation. But ... I find Im feeling a mixture of conflicted feelings as I reflect. It felt good being there and helping lead worship ... but it also pulled the scabs off some wounds that may never entirely heal. I know ( & many of you have affirmed) my gifts ... yet I still know the reality that the denomination doesnt really want those gifts if Im living authentically as a gay man. And Im far from alone or unique. I fear that every time I don the robe and stole, that knowledge wont be far below the surface ... because if the UMC were where it should be I would still be preaching somewhere. And the denomination doesnt really care. So ... it felt good using my gifts again in worship. But the underlying reality still hurts. One day things will be different ... I may even live to see it. But that doesnt always help in the now.
Posted on: Mon, 24 Nov 2014 04:28:04 +0000
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