In 1985 I was horse racing mad and knew the form book inside out.I was eighteen hopeful and headstrong.Twenty eight years later I am upset that I did not make good use of My talent and ability.I was disappointed to lose Tracey as My girlfriend 1996,but even then I had the world at My feet with a nice job in a top casino in London.I began being beset with mental health problem around then.I have a mental breakdown,recover and the year 2000 I am a tip top poker dealer dealing to the best players in the world in the inaugural poker million in the Isle Of Man.I am at the top of My game but troubled.A dark cloud hovers over Me,I cant shift it and a sense of disillusionment creeps up on Me.I walk out of My job 2002 and again 2004 leaving casino employment for good.I have struggled since and have had some very serious mental breakdowns.Everytime I recover I am not quite the same,something is lost or missing.2007/2008 was a nightmare and I am recognisably not the same person after that.I have good days where My old character and personality shine through and I am a delight to be around but they seem few and far between.My new job 2010 to present has balanced Me out a bit,it is humble employment and I would do well to hold on to it and not self destruct as I have threatened a few times.What has all this to do with Sir Henry Cecil ,You may ask ? 28 years on from Oh So Sharp and I am not so sharp.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Jun 2013 15:56:01 +0000
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