In 1997, Michael Erlewine met the 17th Gyalwang Karmapa at Tsurphu. In this excerpt, he shares his experience of doing the Mahakala puja with His Holiness. In the afternoon, we were summoned to His Holiness and I slowly climbed the multiple sets (three) of ladder-like stairs, huffing and puffing. As we entered the interview room, there was a puja (ritual) going on, with His Holiness leading the practice, accompanied by a small number of monks. We were encouraged to sit up front and settled in. Gradually I realized we were in the middle of the Mahakala puja, perhaps the most important daily practice for the Karma Kagyu Lineage. Later we found out that we were experiencing a special form of Mahakala, one for insiders, complete with the Tsok, the ritual feast offering. Karmapa was sharing this with us. It was very intense, with His Holiness leading the chanting with an intent and often fierce look. Mahakala is a wrathful practice, as some of you may already know. And this one was complete with drums, cymbals, and the various Tibetan horns. I had experienced the Mahakala puja before, but never one quite like this. I don’t really know how to describe what happened next. I begin to identify with this puja as not much different from my own practice and my mind ranged over that practice, examining where I was within it and what it was about for me. I had done it, without fail, every morning and afternoon/evening for many years. I was to do it until my death or until I completed it by realizing its essential nature. Now, here in the midst of Karmapa’s mind, I began to explore the true meaning and nature of my practice. What was that practice and what was the essence of it? In my own mind, I was somewhat of a tough character and I carried that strength or toughness to my practice. In fact I loved the fierce wrathful deities, somehow identifying with them. And now, there in that room with Karmapa, that same strength, toughness, or we might even say fierceness came to mind and began to be examined inwardly, in a new light. But this was no idea that I was playing with. Instead, I was examining myself or, to be more exact, I was realizing part of my self, in this case, that part that had been doing my practice, the one who did the practice. And as this realization took place, I saw how my fierceness or toughness was but a shell covering up this extremely sensitive inside. I was tough, because I was so...so sensitive and, at heart, even kind. I was flooded with a state of compassion or rather: the realization that I was (and always had been), at my deepest part, compassionate, concerned, and caring, and that this was my natural state. Not something to strive for, but already in fact the case–the state of my being, something to be uncovered, opened up. I did not have to strive to be compassionate, for that was already my natural state. All I had to do was to relax and let it shine through. And, again, I should point out that this was not a concept or idea, but a realization that totally involved me. I realized that the essence of my practice, of my fierce presence, was none other than compassion. It was as if, like a glove, I had turned myself inside out. Tears just flowed, as I was overcome with this, now so obvious, realization. I was, in essence, very simple–just a soft-hearted, easy mark for this world. I was easy and all of my toughness, my fierceness, was nothing more than an attempt to cover over and shield myself from responding too much to all the suffering I saw around me. In that moment, I feel I understood myself and my practice, all in midst of that Mahakala puja with Karmapa. I was at peace. (From: Michael & Margaret Erlewine, “Our Pilgrimage to Tibet”, astrologysoftware/download/Our-Pilgrimage-to-Tibet.pdf, pp.94-97)
Posted on: Sun, 29 Sep 2013 08:50:07 +0000
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