In 7 days I lost 3 friends. Suffice to say, last week was a rough week. Death is the unexpected houseguest nobody wants to entertain but must acknowledge and accept anyway. We are left with remnants. If truly fortunate, some have photographs or garments to cherish that their loved ones leave behind. Those who have nothing tangible can hold tight to thoughts, words, memories. Mourning is a process that should not be avoided. It is in our mourning that we feel most compelled to reach out to those around us and tell them how much they are loved; how cherished and special they are; how grateful we are to still be able to share a laugh, a smile, a cup of coffee or tea. My friend Renee killed herself because her business was in jeopardy. A business she honored for over 31 years! The irony is...a hospital was going to take her business away from her. Renee could not cope with the aggression and the mean spirited intentions of an institution bound by the Hipprocratic Oath. When I first met Renee, I was still in mourning over the death of my beloved son Michael. I wandered into Carrot Top after a visit to the Emergency Room with my son Derrick who was having difficulty breathing. She made my two year old son a cup of black coffee and said It will help clear his lungs! Can I kiss his chuby cheeks? We talked about Michaels passing and she said she wished she would have met her husband sooner. She said her children would look like mine. Anytime I would stop by she always gave me goodies for my kids. I loved her. I am so sad that she felt powerless. I am so sad her body and spirit were too weak to continue to fight for everything she worked so hard for. I am angry at myself for not stopping by her shop and checking on her, offering her my help, do anything to make her feel she was NOT ALONE. My friend Keith was an extraordinary man. A friend to all. Yet, very few knew he was struggling with a chronic illness. He was determined to live a normal life and gave his son Zeke everything within his grasp. Keith adored his mother, who passed away unexpectedly last year. I believe Keith may have been so heartbroken over the loss of his mother that his body was not as strong as it once was and his health failed. I wish I would have reached out to him more in his grief. Now, I grieve his passing. My friend Darnley was a bouncer with a heart of gold. We both went to Cardinal Spellman, but he graduated and went to college long before I entered the doors of my beloved HS. I met him at the St. Patricks Cathedral gift shop when I tried to buy my Mom the biggest marble Peita in the store. He walked me all the way to the Express Bus stop on Madison Avenue when I settled for a smaller version that would not give me a hernia. I did not ask him for help, he was such a gentleman that he INSISTED on helping me. I offered to take him to lunch when the bus finally showed up. We exchanged phone calls but never got around to breaking bread. I always felt bad about that. Darnley got off work last week in the wee small hours after a bouncing gig last week, stopped at a McDonalds for breakfast and collapsed in the bathroom. He left behind a beautiful wife and daughter. Life is so very precious and short. When we were kids those words seemed so cliché. As we develop and mature - mentally, emotionally and spiritually - the fragility of life becomes all too painfully clear. So today, I ask that you tell everyone how much they are loved. How valuable they are to you. Share a conversation. Meet someone for lunch. Check up on friends and family members who may be struggling with anything. Smile at strangers on the street. Offer words of encouragement instead of criticism. I hope to see my friends again someday. In the meantime, I hope you all have a wonderful day and a productive week. You are LOVED
Posted on: Mon, 17 Nov 2014 16:57:56 +0000
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