In A Redneck Church 1. People ask, when Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch em. 2. The pastor says, Id like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering, and then five guys and two women stand up. 3. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. 4. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because It aint never been in a hole it couldnt get out of. 5. The choir is known as the OK Chorale. 6. Boones Farm Tickle Pink is the favorite wine for communion. 7. In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory. 8. Baptism is referred to as branding. 9. There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank. 10. Finding and returning lost sheep isnt just a parable. 11. High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling. 12. People think rapture is what you get when you lift something too heavy. 13. The final words of the benediction are, Yall come back now, ya hear? (banjo accompaniment optional)
Posted on: Sat, 25 Oct 2014 11:52:59 +0000
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